Discussion of "Time served" by chloe

wow, this was great Chloe. You definitely hook the reader in and keep him wanting more. Interesting mystery here with an equally interesting protagonist. Definite 5.

Thanks so much for the kind words cheese! Wasn't too sure about the legitimacy of the legal loophole but thought it would be an interesting concept, and it is Fiction! (lol) Morrigana did a great chapter two!

I absolutely love the first two lines. What a great start! The remainder of the chapter didn't disappoint either. Held my attention the entire time through and I'm aching to see what morrigana added - so must comment faster...

One little thing that had me slightly confused was the dialog around the library book. I wasn't sure who was talking at first. I figured it out, but it could have been clearer. ;)

Nice work.