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Discussion of "Fickle Fall Winds" by bjv

1 Lika 7 years, 2 months ago Reply

Feels familiar . Nicely done . At the same time , it feels more like the end of the story and not the beginning .

  hidden comment from Lika with score of 1
1 bjv 7 years, 2 months ago Reply

Thank you. Maybe I should expand it and make it the end of a story.

  hidden comment from bjv with score of 1
1 writerwannabe 7 years, 1 month ago Reply

Here, again, your descriptives were excellent. In this case, however, I think you went too far outside the house compared to what was happening inside - your main character.

Had this been about half again as long, I think it would have evened out. To leave the chapter at this point is short of the mark.

  hidden comment from writerwannabe with score of 1
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