I was dreaming about cutting weeds on Grandpa's farm.  The hot wind melted the sounds of crows, cicadas and crickets all together.  My mind was saying the names of the weeds; stampweed, milkweed, thistle...  It must've been when the clock radio snapped on that I got all confused.  Hogweed, soy-weed, milk-bean-.  It kept happening until it looked like I'd cut down all the soybeans.  I was crying.  'I'm sorry Grandpa, I can't tell them apart no more.'  I can still smell the milkweed sap and see Grandpa standing there all-silent, sweat sparkling on his forehead.  When I opened my eyes the clock radio said 4:44.  It was playing the last sad notes of a Billie Holiday song, '...Here is a strange and bitter crop...'  The weatherman said something about a low-pressure system, but I wasn't paying attention.  I was still thinking about them weeds.  Grandma said weeds are just flowers living in the wrong place.  I guess I'm a weed then.  Trouble is, I don't know where the right place is no more, so here I am.  That's what I told the taxi man on the way to Douglas ferry port.

'I understand,' he said.  He adjusted his mirror so he could see my brown eyes and I could see his laugh lines.  They made him seem much younger than in the number 7839 photo ID hanging from his dashboard.  'I'm Irish but now I'm here.  Like your man Patrick in reverse, only me name is Dermot.  This Isle of Man is me home until God comes.  I'm allergic to me country.'

My Irish blood is too dilute to speak of.  I guess mamma cried out the last bit somewhere along the way.  People don't like hearing 'bout that so I just told him about my astrophysics conference.

'Astrology yeah?  I'm a Leo.  So, c'mere is this asteroid going to kill us all in wha- 2030?'

I told him I didn't know about astrology or asteroids, my speciality is giant stars.  I pointed to Orion's left shoulder and said,  'When that red star goes supernova you won't worry about an asteroid!'

'You're not messing?  I'm going to get me pints in now!'

He took both hands off the wheel to cross himself when we passed a graveyard and whispered something in Irish.  My Irish isn't good, but I did say, 'Go raimh maith agat' when he forgave me for not having enough sterling for the taxi fare.  The meter said thirteen pounds by time we were at the ferry port.  I only had a ten and some euro.

'A tener's okay,' he said, 'just tink a me when you help someone else.'  A salty gust blew the door shut just as I took out my duffle bag.  The way he sped off made me think he was running from that supernova.

The sign said "Foot passengers this way."  The man beneath it was shouting into his mobile.  He took my ticket and pointed up the ramp without looking up, but he must have seen me.  After I passed his voice went sharp, and he said something about asylum seekers.  I'm usually pretty good at pretending I don't hear.  I walked up the ramp, looking straight ahead.  I found a window seat in back of the second-class section and got out Ulysses.  I couldn't get past page 317 so I put the book down and read my astrophysics journal.  It was easier to read that without feeling sad.  I hardly noticed the movement when the ferry pulled away from the Isle of Man.  A foam-coloured wake curved away from the lonesome shore.  It glowed in the starlight.

'Hiya.'

She had oil-black hair and waxy-pale skin, but her eyes; well I hadn't seen that colour since Grandpa was alive.  We were leaning against his barn, watching for the harvest moon to rise.

'Look a' this', she pulled slabs of stringy hair across her eyes and giggled.  'I'm black and proud!'

Her boyfriend was silhouetted in the blue heroin light of the loo doorway.  He shouted,  'For Christ sake Deirdre, leave 'er!'  The girl walked unsteadily towards the front of the ferry.

He apologised on his way past.  'Pay her no mind, she's mental.'

The man at the next table scowled through plastic-rimmed spectacles.  He adjusted his wool cap and jabbed a memorised number into his mobile.  Jagged veins on his face told of many years in the wind, or in dim smoky pubs.

'Liam, It's Brody.  I'm going to Wight Tuesday week, did you place the bet?  “Hope?” Nah I told youse “Hellfire!” Couldn't you get one thing right for Christ sake?  I'm fading?  God no, I'm too far from shore.  Remember you owe me!'  He turned to me and complained, 'Hopeless.'

I couldn't think of an answer, so I said something neutral, 'It'll be a soft day.'

'Soft, heh!  Indeed.'  He pointed out the window as fast moving clouds swallowed the last of the stars.  'I hope you've taken your seasick tablets.'  The wind was rising. The ferry began to lurch from side to side.  I closed my eyes.

'How're ya keepin' Brody?'

'Charlie!  Grand, were you at the match?'

'Yeah, your man is at it again!'

'Sure, you can bet he'll be back next season.'

'For how long?  C'mere, how much would you bet they'll turn your woman back?'  My eyes were still closed but I felt him nod in my direction.  I could hear the scowl on Brody's face as he whispered back.

'She's after trying to sneak in through the Isle of Man.  I'll bet you she's preggers anyway. Maybe she didn't hear about the referendum.  They're all here for the dole.'

'Maybe she's from America.'

'Keep them all out!  America caused this weather.'

'Go on!'

'Jaysus Charlie, don't you read the fecking papers?'

'Only page three,' he laughed.

'Then you wouldn't see how many foreigners are killed.  Gangs, foreign gangs are after killing each other.'

I almost stopped him to ask about that, but I bit my tongue and shut my eyes even tighter.

'They're taking our culture, so they are.  We're right to keep them out.'

That was when I opened my eyes, stretched my arms and spoke, 'Conus tá tú?'

'Maam, we don't speak African.  Speak our language or go back to where they speak yours.'

I had to say something, 'Go mba hé dhuit,' then under my breath, 'bás in Éirinn' hoping if he did have Irish that he would get the true meaning rather than the literal meaning.  I couldn't hide the smile so I pretended to read Ulysses.  I listened to the waves and closed my eyes.  When I woke up, Deirdre had taken Brody's place.  She had been crying.  Words tumbled out behind more tears. 

'He was always givin' out.  He says me were feckin' useless.  Wouldn't give me a tener for a fecking burger.  He made me come over,  but he couldn't make me do it.  I hate him!  I hate them!'  I looked down at her belly.  It showed, but just barely.  Only those who shared the condition might see the early signs and maybe offer her a seat on the DART.

'No honey, he can't make you do anything.'  I gave her the last of my euro.  She came back with two apples and some brown bread.  She slouched into the seat and waited for my smile before dropping the change into the cardboard UNICEF box.  She divided the bread.  I thanked her for sharing.  She finished eating before I even started.  An announcement came over the speakers, but I couldn't understand the  Leitrim accent.  'What did he say?'

'A tanker's in trouble in Dublin bay.  We're sheltering behind Lambay island for a while.  And I'm after getting seasick.  I ate too fast, and baby is moving.'

'Watch the horizon.'  It was the only advice I knew, 'Close your eyes and pretend you're steering us through calm waters.  I have a baby on the way too.  Sometimes I sing to her.'

'Can baby hear you?'

'Oh sure!  This noise is probably keeping yours awake.  Hush little baby don't you cry, mamma's gonna sing you a lullaby.  Go ahead!'

'Hush...,' tears welled up,  'I'm not ready.'

'Shh,'  I whispered, 'Baby don't know that.'  Then I asked if her's was a boy or girl.

'Maam did the test, but the thread goes every which way.'

I looked at her belly, then into her eyes and out into the storm and told her,  'It's a boy!  Maybe he can teach Aislinn conquers!'

'They don't play that where you're from?'

'No, we used to played marbles and kick the can.  Nowadays they seem to play nothin' but video games but I don't think they ever played conquers.'

'Are you here because of the racism over there?'

That was a hard question.  An almost invisible dying giant, or a godless young cannibal?  I chose a devil I don't know.  I said, 'Things are different here.'

'Aislinn can teach Orry to drive ginormous cars.'

'She will!' I laughed and waved to the man behind her, Dr. Tokunbo Lemopcaw.  He delivered babies long before the Celtic Tiger turned the immigration tide, back when the birth-rate was much higher.  I asked if Deirdre had an O.B.

'No.  I - didn't think I'd need one.'

'You should see that man over there.'  That's when I saw Brody walk up to Tokunbo.  The two embraced and laughed.  I couldn't figure it out, Brody suddenly seemed - softer.  He patted Tokunbo on the shoulder and lit a cigarette.  Then he stepped through the door onto the rear smoking deck.  Lambay sheltered our side of the boat, but the wind still made mountainous waves and shattered them.  The smell of vomit and beer drifted through the deck.  I was glad neither of us had eaten a burger.

'Me teacher says wallabies live on Lambay Island.'

'Aren't they out of place?'

'Yeah.  Someone said they should be killed because they mess up the environment or something.  But that ain't fair.  They was born there.  Lambay is all they know.  It's their home.'

Brody didn't shut the door tight to keep out the wind.  I was about to get up and fix it when the ferry paused on the crest of a terrible wave.  The wind shrieked as it held back gravity - and time for an impossible instant before the ferry crashed down out of sync with a confused sea. Ulysses landed next to someone's half-eaten burger.  When the screaming and cussing died out we heard someone shouting, 'Help!  Someone's gone overboard!'

'Man overboard!'  The crew shouted, alarms sounded.  I only saw his grey suit before he disappeared, but I knew it was Brody.  A few announcements came over the loudspeaker, but all I could understand was, '...like to apologise for any inconvenience.'  Lambay stood very near.  If Brody could swim there...  No, I knew he was gone, just as I had known that Deirdre was carrying a boy.  We didn't say anything during the rescue attempts before the ferry began to move again.

Deirdre finally spoke, 'I'm going to send him to a good school, maybe up there.  People look down on kids from Ballymun.'  I didn't say anything.  'I'm going to get some air.  Maybe I'll see you at the Rotunda.'

'I hope so.'  I smiled as She picked up her backpack and stepped out onto the rear deck.  Deirdre clung to the painted rail where Brody had fallen until her nails turned a purplish white.  I stood just inside the doorway and watched her hold one hand over the womb.  The wind floated her black hair as her soft voice rose above the waves in a sean nós to her unborn child.  I don't have much Irish yet, but I understood a few words.   Love, hope, forever.   The setting sun found a gap in the broken sky.  It illuminated Deirdre's eyes and the lush green island of birds and wallabies.  I looked past Lambay to St. Ita's and the round tower.  I whispered the words just as a west-turning wind seemed to carry the sound of angelus bells impossibly far out to sea.

'Dia annseo isteach.  We seek asylum.'