Thanks. I think this is on the back burner unless you or someone else would like to continue it. There are fragments of a true story behind it.

First guard's name is Brody, which means "man from a muddy place," because no one ever seems to know the ethnic origin of guys like him and Archie Bunker. I wrote the wrong name a couple of times, but I can't edit it now. Merry Christmas everyone.

The last half was definitely tighter and had much crisper imagery. I'm glad to see that your "novelist pace" didn't stop you from getting the attention you deserve here. Excellent suspense building!

Thanks shadinah, this is an excellent intro and leaves lots of room for subsequent authors. I only hope I can find the time to try a follow up somewhere in this storyline.

Wow, I like that each chapter has a unique cadence and style, yet all fit together partly because Arnon is so mysterious.

Very nice, I like the change of pace too!

Thanks wsells.

I won't have time to continue polishing this and I don't want to hold up the show. So I published.

Now I see the typo in ifrost, word order problem with "prose, song and poem." I also know that many rhymes and rhythms could be improved. I'm open to suggestions!

Thanks
I'll try.

I'll publish this as soon as someone asks me to so as to not hold up the show. It feels like it isn't quite ready. Of course these things never are ready, are they? Let me know if you have any suggestions for changes before I publish. Thanks!