Discussion of "Potatoes-Chap two" by alharris

Draft comment~
Whoa, loving it! I reealllly like dhte fact that the other kids in the class kept ansking question and really getting into the story. The teacher, on the other hand, kinda bothered me with his butting in the story. I get the reason and all, I don't know, maybe too many teachers butted in my personal life. Lol. The little history facts were done wonderfully, except I thought the names battleship's, the examples of states, I felt like you could have used less to get the point across. I thought were you left off of the chapter was perfect, don't change that! Oh and my absolutely favorite line was :"Grandpa never said anything about mustangs…Coulda been, I guess.” Wow, great show of their childhood age and relationship between buddies, trying to make the other buddy feel better about his remark in front of the whole class. I can't wait to read more Al!

What the hell? Sorry, appartently I can't type tonight!

LadyL, your typing was a pleasure to read. Thanks for commenting on a draft. That helps me a great deal not only with this piece but with my writing style in general. One of my faults is getting in too much detail. Hmmm...

Glad I could help Alharris, but seriously, my typing skills sucked lastnight, I was really tired. Sorry about that!

I agree with all of your comments, but I think all of the names of the ships are important. Each one is etched in the minds of one or more family member in this nation. To leave one out would be like leaving out one of the twin towers in the story of 9/11. Food for thought....

Peter the Cock? Hmmm..

Wow…this is really, really good. I am completely engrossed. Your dialogue rang true for me. I was able to easily picture the scene in my head and follow along. And I thought you ended this installment perfectly.
Great job of writing and a fascinating tale so far.

This is excellent. Soooo well written. Capitalize Mass. I am going on to the next Chapter. You have me hooked.

I'm re-reading from chapter one. After the first chapter, I remarked that I was "at a loss for words". Now...you have my "undivided attention"...;o). This is truly professional writing and a fabulous story!