Discussion of "I Didn't See Anything" by alharris

I really enjoyed reading your follow-up to my chapter Al. I thought you got inside the head of the main character really well and you definitely managed to notch up the tension! The car with the darkened windows was an interesting element to introduce and one that I hadn't thought about. I wasn't quite sure who "the others" were when I first mentioned them. Now they are beginning to take on a significantly darker tone.
I have been thinking about how best to continue the story and which direction to take it in. I hope to be adding something soon. Would be great if you felt you were able to add to that one too.

Great continuation! I enjoyed the black van addition. And thought you really kept the tension up well.

Thanks. I hope S_F gets a chance to take it to the next level. I love the potential collaborations that this site encourages. I just wish there was more of it. Where do you see that Black van parking at night? Will the key be delivered? To Whom? What do you think, HG?

Time flies, alharris and I apologize for not reading this sooner. Really well done. As Honey mentioned, the introduction of the black van was great. It brought a huge degree of ominous mystery, complicating the main characters problems.

Same with the potential co-protagonist in the female cop.

This is a very good story and getting better with each installment....'o)

Thanks, writer. I really want to see S_F write the next chapter. Frankly, I already have written the presumed dialogue the main character would have with his mother, who has always warned him not to get involved. The concept of being the one to listen to "Dying Words" has always fascinated me. But the next chapter of 'The Gift' is not mine to mash. BTW, I am a big Teleporter fan. It's not my genre or I'd mash that too. The story line is creative and MARKETABLE!

I know what you mean about "dying words"..yup, fascinating...;o).

Thanks for the "Teleporter" comment. It seems to have snowballed on us...lol. "Marketable"...ah, such a word, equals HEAVEN for us writers! If only it were that easy, huh?

Those of us that are here working our craft, doing as I say our writing calisthenics, are not focused on financial gain. Those that are tend to lose focus and simply don't grow. But I trust that once heaven's gate opens for the few of us that we continue to contribute to the site. Ah, hell...Sell the damn movie rights and buy us all lunch!

Sure, but "marketable" equals, in reality, publishable which I think is every writer's goal..agreed? ;o)

Speaking of "Teleporter" (again)...when are you gonna write some comments? There's five chapters out there...six, when I post the next one in a day or so...;o) Your input would be valuable to both Jacko and me!!