The pain pierces through my head as if the bullet was cold and sharp. Squeezing my eyes doesn't stop the cold white pain or the bright light that seems to be searing itself through my eyelids.
Fear seems to rush through me. Somehow I thought death would be faster, something that would end quickly and the pain of the moment would be forgotten. But instead the pain seems to be pounding and radiating through my head and pulsing through my veins.
Voices seem to rush in through my ears in spurts. They hurt, almost as if they were solid and pressing through quickly. I am not sure what the **** they are saying, but I know that it is something. Maybe they are the angels of death. I wish they would speak in a way that I could understand.
"I don't want him to die!" I hear the warm panicked voice. After a few seconds of the pain of it, I realize that it is Maggie's voice and it sounds as if she really means it. After all the hell we had put each other through in the recent months I had figured this would be the best end and make her happy. Sure, she would probably wish I had waited till she was gone to get the job done, but...
The white light is getting bolder and more painful. I blink. The fact that I am blinking, and know that I am blinking is one that confuses me. After all, with the shot to the head one would think that I would be a goner at this point. Instead, I am on my back. There are people all about and the white light. The searing white light.
"What the **** is going on?" I yell, but instead out comes a small whisper of words that just don't seem to make sense.
"He's come to, doctor. What is it we should do now?"
With that a small man approaches. His cold hands touch my wrist. I know this and that freaks me out. I try to move, but with no success. I just don't understand. "He seems confused and isn't in a state to talk this one through. Increase the dosage and we will talk about it in the morning".
With that I try to protest. Talk about what. I should be dead! God damn it, I should be dead! But I am not?!? It doesn't matter because moments later I feel like I am being dragged under the dark surface of the a pond. I get heavy, my lids fall and darkness takes over. With that, the pain in my head disappears. Maybe death has finally come.
While it was a good hope, it wasn't true. The morning sun pushed its way inside my head. My eyelids fluttered and it was then that I realized I was in the hospital. Maybe it was the gray walls that brought this realization about. Or maybe the heart monitor blinking and beeping. I was rather surprised that there was a heart beat and the lines formed a familiar pattern. Some how I had thought I would look down at the scene and see the flatline.
The small man was back. Dark bags under his eyes making him look tired and slightly old though I doubted he was older then his early thirties. Behind him was a tall man with blonde hair that was almost white. They approached slowly, as if they didn't know what to tell me.
"Mr. Ronaldson" came the soft voice. "You have had a blood clot in your brain. We have managed to remove it and think that you should be doing much better in the next few days."