Jack had been dealt a heady blow.  His girlfriend  of five years Gloria had decided on a cliche-looking gray windy day that they were on "different pages."  The whole of five years reduced to two words.  And it was over.  Jack had been dealt a heady blow indeed.

   About a month and a half later and Jack was still drunk, depressed, and pitiful.  The phone rang.  No, thought Jack, I don't want to talk to anyone.  He glanced at the luminescent display screen, it was Mario.  He groaned inwardly, he would have to pick up.  If he didn't pick up Mario would be hammering at his door within the hour.  Best friends are overrated he thought as he pressed the "accept" button. 

"Hey man, you ever gonna leave your cave?  Sunlight could do you good."

"Can I help you with something?"

"Dude, don't be pissy just 'cause I'm trying to lighten the mood a little bit, I've only been calling you for a month trying to get you to come out."

"What do you want, Mario?"

"We're going out tonight, please don't say no or I'm gonna have to be a dick about it."

"No"

"Dude, you're being a total emo-bitch!  Drink some coffee, blow a line or two, do some meth for all I care, I'm coming over and I will  split your door open with an ax if that's what it takes, you got me?  See you in half an hour."