Discussion of "Flatline-The Death Of My Emotions" by abundantwater

I like this new angle on this story. However, it's a little short and i can't completely tell who's perspective we are seeing. My first thought is that it is the voice of Maggie, but i'm not totally sure. Either way, the writting is good. it has a poetic elegance to it that i really like.

Well written, but I too feel a bit confused about the perspective (assuming it is Maggie, seeing a new perspective is a twist that could work) and that it was a little too repetitive from line to line, but that might just be me. I think what you have is fine, though, and I might try to mash this.

Thanks for the inside and pointers will keep in mind, for further mashs of whose perspective I am writting from.