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Discussion of "I Need to Know What Happened in The Shed" by Wizardknows


2 dogdeity11 6 years, 8 months ago Reply

'Rini grew boobies.'
LOVE IT!
I totally want more. This was really cool. Great storyline. I like that there seem to be several mysteries within the main mystery of what happened in the shed. How did Henry die? What is wrong with Rini?
Constructive criticism…it did seem just a little bit anti-climatic at the end...there’s like this monster build up and then all of a sudden, ‘…if that happens, I'll call Ben…’ and ‘I really, really hope that happens.’
Even so, it was a decent cliffhanger, for overall content I rated you a 5 and I totally hope it gets continued!


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2 mari7789 6 years, 8 months ago Reply

Okay, I am hooked...what the hell happened in the shed?!! Great story, the suspense is perfectly done.
I want to thank you Manny for the comments you posted on Race for the Truth, you have no idea the effect it had on me. Up until about six months ago I had not written for many years and have been doubtful about my ability although I really enjoy the creative proccess. I have toyed with the idea of a screenplay but honestly don't know much about it. Any help or suggestions would be more than welcome. I admittedly gave much more thought to the first chapter of this story and kind of shot off the next two. Feel free to contact me through any of the chapters of the story..thanks again.
Now, that said...please write more on this story.. I really need to know what happened in the shed!! :-)


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1 writeright 6 years, 8 months ago Reply

The ultimate cliffhanger! Teenage boys with raging hormones, a complicit female with come-and-get-me anatomy, and the deep dark secrets of the inner sanctum wherein innocence is forever lost and worldly knowledge instantly gained. The titillation and the intrigue is enough to drive any man back into recollections of his "first time" or the one he let get away--and any women to consider how she might otherwise have been viewed by boys had her boobies only grown fuller and more abundant. Ultimately, there is no need to know what happened in the shed. What happened inside your head is far more fertile and intriguing. Five stars for you!


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1 Wizardknows 6 years, 8 months ago Reply

Dear "writeright."

Thank you for both taking the time to read SHED and then adding your most generous comment. It all happened a long time ago and it was fun finally setting it down, sharing these two moments of youthful opportunities missed, and with the same girl no less! Ah, Rini. You were really something.

From your user name, and from the way you write, I am going to assume you do this for a living which makes what you wrote all the more flattering. Thank you again, ww.

Manny


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1 xfionax 6 years, 8 months ago Reply

I'm about to lose my mind lol. I loved this story and I really want to know what happened in the shed! I love how after all that time had passed he was still wondering what happened in the shed. Hilarious! Great job, I gave you a 5!
Fiona


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1 Wizardknows 6 years, 8 months ago Reply

Fiona: Thank you for taking the time to read SHED and for your lovely comments. Sorry about the losing your mind part. Not my intention. If you didn't notice, I wrote the concluding chapter, I FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SHED. A shameless plug. Hope it meets with your approval. I'm terribly insecure.

Manny


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1 hebe6405 5 years, 6 months ago Reply

Too much tell, not enough show. There's a lack of build in the story - no setting, no plot, no characters. There are names, but they have no personalities.

The beginning is good as a set-up to something bigger - but by the end, anything that could have happened is already concluded.


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