All Comments by Wizardknows

Dear Nash: Thank you for reading the conclusion of SHED. You comments are obviously thought out and you make some excellent points. Thank you for that as well.

Manny

Dear Lady B:

I'm still hurting from reading your story. Wish you hadn't dragged us into that house, certainly not a home. Into that house, introduced us to a brave little girl. (Would love to know how old she is. Same for Nathan.) But you did and it hurt. I pray this was not taken from your own childhood. You have created a gutsy, brave, and using Mama's word, "fiesty" kid. I want nothing more than to hug her, then help her punch her Daddy's lights out. I'm sure Nathan would join us.

Manny

Fiona: Thank you for taking the time to read SHED and for your lovely comments. Sorry about the losing your mind part. Not my intention. If you didn't notice, I wrote the concluding chapter, I FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SHED. A shameless plug. Hope it meets with your approval. I'm terribly insecure.

Manny

Mari: It's never too late. Thank you for commenting, and for the additional Bravo.

Manny

Mari: Thank you for your observation. Petty minds resort to petty measures and when they do, they reveal themselves for what they are. Insecure and afraid of competition.

Well done - Manny

His wasn't the only heart broken. And she sounded like she'd be such a nice girl. Thank you for introducing us to this gentleman, and that's what he is. Too good for her. You let us share his pain, his trust in strangers. Well done!

Manny

"The Backspace Team?" Let me think about that. Team itself implies, implys, &^%$%! - hints at oragnization. I loath the big "O," except in sexual terms, of course, in which case it is highly desirable. Can your team engage in sex? In group sex? I sympathize (ha,ha,ha) with your quest to find and treasure that to which none of us aspire but so easily find. Imperfection. Sadly, in your writing, you have miserably failed to acheive that devine state.

Manny

I hear faint echos of Dashill Hammet, spelled wrong, I fear, but you know who I mean, as I read your tale. You have managed to recreate an atmosphere that took me back to those days when everything happened in shadowy places with a seductive woman leading her prey to a place he never imagined he venture, and you could hear what the characters were thinking. Great insights!

I really like what you've done so far and look forward to what comes next.

The ONLY criticism I will offer is, I would love to know what the woman looks like.

Manny

Thank you writerwannabe. I love "Bravos"!

I shall now search you out, read what you shared with us.

Manny

Wonderful! You have been blessed with the unique ability of setting down words so they create vibrant phrases: "...followed him to fallowed Lendindale." Loved it!

What you've written so far is a marvelous foundation for what could be a fascinating screenplay. Have you considered that possibility?

I take my leave, sire, anticipating your quick return to Lendindale and the hunt for Sun.

Manny

Really liked your story. Haven't spent much time in junk yards. Maybe now I'll give that some thought.

I also like how you use words. "...photocopy his appearance." Nice.

I assume you realize you have a gift for writing. Not a talent. A gift. There is a difference.

Now what? Where is this Evil being going to lead our dear Kyla? Or...is she going to be the one doing the leading?

We're waiting.

Manny

Hi.

The sad part is, there are too many Alene's around living with pure jerks. I've known a few. I'd love to know why Alene puts up with this idiot? You have created a woman we care about and a man who needs a serious attitude adjustment. At least he didn't hit her.

I like Alene. Is there some of you in her? I hope you are not going to leave us in the lurch and not continue this story. You wouldn't do that to us, would you?

Manny

WAIT A MINUTE! I was not finished. From the beginning:

There is a lovely simplicity to your story about Mean Sara. Even a trapped fairy can't change her wicked ways, until she breaks her leg.

May I make a suggestion? How about writing the chapter before this one? I'd like to know what happened to Sara to make her so nasty.

Manny

There is a lovely

At the moment, we are a small family with one thing in common. We LOVE TO WRITE. I am guilty of not reading at least a couple of stories a day, commenting on them. Will do my best to do better. Promise.

Manny

Dear "writeright."

Thank you for both taking the time to read SHED and then adding your most generous comment. It all happened a long time ago and it was fun finally setting it down, sharing these two moments of youthful opportunities missed, and with the same girl no less! Ah, Rini. You were really something.

From your user name, and from the way you write, I am going to assume you do this for a living which makes what you wrote all the more flattering. Thank you again, ww.

Manny

Mari,

Thank you for your generous comments on my SHED story. Guess I should have mentioned at the beginning that this is a true story and it ended where it ended. I think I will now have to add a fictional final chapter to close the loophole.

Happy to hear you are open to writing screenplays. Listen, if it was difficult I wouldn't be doing it.

Not sure what they allow us to do on this site but am sending you my e-mail address so you can contact me there. Thepanamahouse@aol.com. Let me know if you get it okay.

Manny

Thank you for taking the time to send me your comment on my SHED story.

Guess I should have made it clear at the beginning that this is a true story and that's where it actually ended. I have no idea what happened inside that bloody shed! Sorry. But now that I have it down in writing, I am giving thought to adding a final, fictional chapter.

Thank you again

Manny

From the Wizardknows again.

Mari: Perfect, got the title of my story wrong. It's I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SHED.

I also want to make it clear I am not trying to sell you any screenwriting softwear, or charge for any help I might give you. I find you to be an exceptionally talented writer and anything I can do to help you realize your full potential would be my pleasure, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

Manny

I liked your story enough to take the liberty of adding to it. My contribution is titled "Why Was This Cop Wearing High Heels?" Don't know how you'll find it. Hope you do.

Anyone who has ever been pulled over by a cop on a lonely road at night will instantly identify with your story. Can't help wondering. Did this happen to you? You had me beliving it did. Good job.

I really liked this story, Mari. I've been working as a writer for some 30 years. Had screenplays produced, a book published and a play mounted, so consider that as you read the rest.

First: Don't worry about the bloody "grammatical rules." You know what they say about rules, right? The ONLY thing that matters is, how you arrange the words. That's the only difference between a writer and a great writer. The way the words are arranged. Your's are beautifully arranged.

Have you ever considered writing a screenplay? That's where the money is. And it's not as daunting as you might think. If you would like some advice and help with that, post a comment on my story, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT WAS IN THE SHED. Hey! You showed me yours!

Manny

Yeah, sounds like it was based on a true story. Has that country feel to it. I thought Mr. Hatfield did a real good job of bringing us along for the ride. Hope it gets continued.

Wizardknows

This is my initial visit to Storymash, and Tito the first story I read.

I found it utterly delightful. Good job!

Wizardknows