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All Comments by Walkindownaline

37 comments
1 Walkindownaline 1 year, 8 months ago Context

*Thanks :-0 oops. :-)


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 1 year, 8 months ago Context

Thank for pointing out my mistake. I do understand the difference. Are there any other corrections that you have for my story? Do you have anything to say about the content?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
-2 Walkindownaline 4 years, 6 months ago Context

When i opened my eyes the a large bulge protruding from under the skirt of a certain blond came into focus, and upon further inspection I realized that I had seen that bulge before.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of -2
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 5 months ago Context

To be honest I was a little afraid to come back and read the comments for this sotry... I think one of the hardest parts of writing is listening to the critics and taking it with an open mind. So I thank you all for giving me your honest opinions.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 5 months ago Context

Thank you for your comments Nash.. Don't worry I know that this story could use a lot of work. I struggled from the beginning on it, so I ended up just hashing it out. It was a really good learning experience for me.
This by the way was my second attempt. I think your dead on when you said to rewrite it three more times..

Thanks again.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
3 Walkindownaline 5 years, 5 months ago Context

I am a college student working towards two degrees. The first is a B.A. of Psychology, and the second is a B.A. of English with an emphasis in writing. I am also pursuing a certificate in technical communications. My ultimate goal is to become a writer. I have a lot of great ideas for books that I want to write, at least I think they are great. In the mean time I am writing short stories here and there. I think I'll end up poasting mostly during the summer months, because in addition to going to school full time, I have to work full time.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 3
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 5 months ago Context

http://storymash.com/u/Walkindownaline/mubaduta/


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 5 months ago Context

I have added the third and last part to my story Burnt Skin... I think a whole two people have read it thus far, so I hope that you all will go and read the entire story and give me some thoughtful and constructive feed back. Maybe you could even give me a honest vote as well. I thank you all in advance.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 7 months ago Context

Nash, your quickly becoming one of my favorite Mashers. Thank you for your poem.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
2 Walkindownaline 5 years, 7 months ago Context

I'll take a word, if you have any left


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 2
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 7 months ago Context

I welcome any new addition... thank you for you comment.
I wrote this story a while back and I do have a part 3, but I hope that some people will mash it.
If no one mashes soon I will post chapter 3. Look for it in the next week or two.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 7 months ago Context

I have added to my story "Burnt Sking" A.K.A "Water For Sand Stung Eyes"


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
2 Walkindownaline 5 years, 9 months ago Context

I have whole lot more to add, but I was short on time... Someday I might pick this story back up and finish it.
Thanks for your vote and comment


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 2
1 Walkindownaline 5 years, 11 months ago Context

So.. I have been away for a few weeks. School is back in session so I don't have a lot of time to mash, but I noticed that for round 9 the deadline is tomorrow and there still are no entries. So, what gives? Is there going to be an extension of the dead line, or is the contest/story dead?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

Good job. There were a few typos and run-ons that were distracting, but overall I think you did a good job of moving the story forward.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

Yes, thank you. I think that this story has failed because not enough people have paid attention to important details; like story structure and plot.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I agree with wannabe. I myself am confused about where this story should go next, but maybe an extension could get the creative juices flowing.
But I also agree with rocklee. I think that things should be kept fair for those who do get their story in before the deadline.
Maybe if there are not more than five entries you could extend the deadline by a few days.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
0 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

Who runs storymash, and how did storymash come to be?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 0
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

Thank you for you comments. I know I could have spent an extra two hours on this chapter, and I wish I would have. A lot of my ideas were left undeveloped, but I was leaving town and didn't have the time to really finish. I also didn't want to miss the deadline.
So... I might give this contest one more stab, but right now I am a little discouraged.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

Ok. Well thank you for your time.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

so... still confused....


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

wow. Thanks for the comments honeygloom. I will work on my level of emotion. Is there anything about my chapter that you did like?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
0 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

so, i'm confused... right now there is a chapter, competing in round 6, that was published on aug 17th. That chapter is in the finals. The deadline for round 6 was Aug 17th.
During round 5 I submitted my chapter the day of the deadline and was told i missed the deadline. So, what gives?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 0
0 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I like your chapter, but didn't you miss the Aug 17th dead line?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 0
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I think it does fit in with the direction chapter 5 took the story, but I know there are still a lot of loose ends that need tied up in this story. I think that if Father Preston, Miguel, and Methra can be linked to the cult in the next chapters then everything will work out fine.. maybe.. thank you for you feed back.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

Thank you for you comments foo. I know that this isn't my strongest writing. I did want to add to this chapter but I was leaving town for the weekend and ran out of time.
Thank you for pointing out the typos. I didn't realize that I was doing that. :-(


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

too short


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I like this to a point, but the characters seem to have changed from the rest of the story.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I thought that the cult twist might be a good way to tie things together. My idea has been that maybe there is cult leader who directs the killings. Could one man really pull of a crucifixion?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I like the beginning of this chapter. I thought the dream was a nice start. The dialogue with Franco, to me, seemed out of character and a bit drawn out. Overall I'm not a big fan of this chapter... I think more needed to happen.
P.s. I did like your descriptions, especially when she enters the office.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
2 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

This was the first of a short story I wrote about a year ago, and thought it might mash well. let me know what you think.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 2
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

So.. I just entered my chapter at 01:50 utc 8/7/08. Did i miss the deadline?


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I like the angle of this chapter


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

I think that this could be a much needed chapter. So far we haven't really seen the killer.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
1 Walkindownaline 6 years ago Context

You are welcome. I should have my chapter posted today or tomorrow. I commend your creativity, because I am personally having a little trouble coming up with what happens next.
I don't think Paige should be kidnapped by the killer. I think that it is becoming too expected, so it wouldn't be that great of a shock if it does happen. My train of thought has been that Paige might become the unexpected hero in the story, and that her kidnapping would be more of a constant nagging paranoia for Adara.
Anyways... I look forward to reading more of your work.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1
2 Walkindownaline 6 years, 1 month ago Context

I wanted to add to my last comment. I am not trying to knock your writing. I just don't feel the events that take place in this chapter were earned. To randomly have Paige kidnapped, or to have sanchez killed, and then have the mom identify Mertha as the "sun god" -- was just too much for the story all at once.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 2
1 Walkindownaline 6 years, 1 month ago Context

I thought that the chapter was too much. It felt all over the place, and doesn't fit to the rest of the story.


  hidden comment from Walkindownaline with score of 1