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Thelestro

Date Joined: Dec. 16, 2007
Last Login: June 23, 2011

34 Comments by Thelestro

10 most recent / all comments
1 Thelestro 3 years, 11 months ago Context

I enjoyed this. Thought it to be a littly darkly funny in the way that I love.
"Firstly, this is my first stalk." I cracked up at that part.
I like the narrator too, reminded me a lot of Lolita's narrator


  hidden comment from Thelestro with score of 1
1 Thelestro 3 years, 11 months ago Context

I liked this. it was strong, relatable. The emotions kept me engaged. it seems like a great beginning to a story. Seems personal and honest, which works to the benefit of the piece.


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2 Thelestro 4 years, 4 months ago Context

I enjoyed this quite a bit.
"blended with the night like ink bleeds into black cloth." Great line.

I gave this story a high rating because I thinks it's one of the btter stories I've read on this forum, but there was one paragraph that threw me off, particularly the line that reads, "A doll, the personification of innocence, or rather, the imitation of it."

I feel maybe to take this line out, because it's directly saying what the doll represents. I find it a bit repetitive within the context of the paragraph

otherwise, great imagery and descriptions.I liked the spiritual undertone with a dark poetic style.
I look forward to reading more of your stuff.


  hidden comment from Thelestro with score of 2
1 Thelestro 4 years, 5 months ago Context

I thought it was a great poem. I wasn't into it at first, but it progressively pulled me further and further until my head was shaking yes, yes, yes! like a herbal essence commercial.

great poem!


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1 Thelestro 4 years, 5 months ago Context

Ifthis is a reflection of your work in general, you are genuinly telented. I wasn't expecting to read this and enjoy every minute that I did.

Thank you for a great story!


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1 Thelestro 4 years, 5 months ago Context

you definately have got a gift. Plus I always love a good bukowski reference.

I wasn't a fan of the questions asked opening at first, but then I got. It just keeps building sronger and stronger, until you get to the very end, then it just leaves you thereand you're left thinking


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1 Thelestro 4 years, 5 months ago Context

you are good


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1 Thelestro 4 years, 5 months ago Context

Other than spelling and grammar, this poem was fan-****-tastic. keep up the good writin'


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2 Thelestro 5 years, 10 months ago Context

thank you, see that's a lot more helpful advice than what I've been getting


  hidden comment from Thelestro with score of 2
1 Thelestro 5 years, 10 months ago Context

So pretty much, since I've submitted, I have not gotten one piece of constructive criticism. It's all been bashing because of the cursing or the people commenting are just so sure they are the experts on writing that they know it all and I'm just some young cuss happy kid.

So if your the kind of people who would love to have a drink with bukowski or that you are Holden Caufield or just generally like unconventional writing, save me from these ****


  hidden comment from Thelestro with score of 1

66 Chapters by Thelestro