Discussion of "Thou shall not kill - (4) Something's wrong..." by ShadowedPen

Seriously? Did you really need to spend that much time on such a piece of crap? First you insult us by making Franco the killer and being so obvious about it. then you insult the writers. Not cool, man. Not cool!

Seriously? Well, no. It wasn't serious. And it's obviously not an insult to "the writers." It's just a satirical piece, written to express my own angst while trying to write the next chapter. After a couple of days of writer's block I had a great time writing this, and I'm disapointed and surprised that you were so appalled by it.
Obviously, this chapter is not eligible to be crowned the winning chapter, therefore after this round, it will fade to a memory, and it was written to elicit a few chuckles, considering that we are all in the same boat, our devious little minds trying to think up the next plot twist or thrilling finale. I assumed that as my fellow writers read it, they would have had shared similar thoughts- is Franco the killer? Is it the Priest? etc.- and thus chuckle along as my characters held a farcical dialogue expressing all of the mental struggles I have had while obsessing over what to write next.
I mean, how is it insulting to you, that Franco likes being in first person? It's just a joke. And the fact that Franco was the killer and Adara figured it out in two paragraphs was the signal that this chapter wasn't meant to be taken seriously. And yes... to answer your question, I did need to spend the fifteen minutes it took me to write this, because I write to express myself. And I was expressing my trouble writing this chapter.

Omg so when I read that Franco was the killer I almost stopped reading. I'm thinking," ShadowedPen could not have written this. What is going on?!" Then I hit the part about points of view and I start laughing. This was a great piece!!!! Of course, I won't even vote for it but I loved it. The humor was hilarious and the transitions into points of view was amazing. I'm so glad I kept reading! I think everyone should read this because we all do need a break from this crazy contest. It's getting frustrating and annoying but you just shined a whole new light that actually put a smile on my face. Kudos on the great laugh. oh and to the first guy, expressionarchitect, lighten up dude lol.

LOL. At first I thought this was a serious story but then I just started laughing when I got to the part where Franco and Adara got scared by the tense shift. I hope this makes everyone laugh a little, even architect perhaps in a re-read. Funny, just plain funny.

Is this supposed to be a comment or a critique? Because you’re supposed to make comments –by you, I mean the general population, not any specific entity. Except me, who became part of the mass when I wrote these words. Except that I wrote these words in Word then emailed them to another version of me on Yahoo before copying and pasting them into this site, which carries yet another cyber-dimension of mine. All of us truly appreciated your execution of the story. And we (royally) mean that, with both connotations of “execution.”

Nash leaned away from the screen and decided he was only famous enough in his own mind to refer to himself in third person. As the rest of the world hasn't yet appreciated my celebrity, I shall leave you with this:

Who, me? What?

(Looking forward to more of your stuff, SP.)

I'm sorry. I was in a bad state of mind when I read this and yes it upset me. However, going back and reading in again, it is really funny! I love the points of view argument. I apologize for my previous comment. I know a writer as talented as yourself would never intentionally insult other writers and i'm sorry for implying that. Looking forward to reading more of your contributions. Sorry again!

oh and xfionax: I'm not a dude, I'm a chick...just so you know.

No problem! I suppose I should have tagged it (satire) or something, but I thought it would be funnier if it was more of a suprise. lol. guess not! Well, I'm going to put a short story on here called 'Slushpile' pretty soon. Even if you didnt like this satirical piece, I'm sure you will enjoy that one. It pokes fun at the publishing industry. And since I've bowed out of this round, good luck on the contest.
And by the way... does anyone on here make money on here? I've actually made fifty cents so far, and I'm thrilled! Considering how few chapters I have up, that seems fairly decent. I'm no math magician, but does this mean that if I have like a thousand chapters on here I'll make twenty dollars a day? Because I can write a thousand chapters tomorrow baby! Show me the money!

oops sorry expression.

Shadow...the surprise made it even more better. You're bowing out this round? why?
Not to advertise or anything but I do value your opinion and I think your writing is awesome. Could you check out my chapter and tell me if it's any good? Honestly my will to crank something really good out is slowly dying. I really should take a break to.

Ahemmm...is this directed at a certain someone who didn't get the memo that chapters should all be written from the same point of view?(lol) Think of it as an added artistic challenge!

Chloe...or I...or Chloe

No problem, xfionax. It happens.

Shadowed: I don't think you should bow out this round. I really enjoy your writing and would love to see where you'd take this. As it is, would you mind checking out my chapter? Thanks!

SP;

If I thought this were an honest entry wanting for votes I ould have given it 5 stars for the fact that I couldn't stop laughing for quite some time. I've never before had the pleasure of reading a POV war, that was some exquisite writing.

No vote officially, 5 stars for comic relief.

This was hysterical! The POV argument was absolute perfection! I definitely look forward to reading more of your work...it was thoroughly entertaining!

RFLMAO....what more can you say, except fabulous imagination and writing, SP...absoutely fantastic!! What a great way to bust out of writer's block...now, fess up...did it work? lol