Discussion of "No Witnesses" by ShadowMan

Katrina assures me that the voting is fixed so I've rejoined the fray. I found something I could mash and knocked out a quick one.

whoa...yep, that's all i came up with...whoa.

That's pretty sweet. Nice finish.

The concept here is great, however, the change from first to third person in the later mash seemed to disconnect the story, in my opinion.

Yeah, I'm not as comfortable writing in 1st person. I can do it, but I find it tedious.

I don't know. I didn't get much out of the start chapter. Maybe the grammar threw me off or maybe I'm just tired. BUT, I got alot out of this one. Very good. Is the guy hypnotized? Drugged out? The former, I reckon and what's going to happen now that he's aware that he's placed a bomb in a school cafeteria? And his controllers? Man, this could go really big! Great job, Shadow.

Nice set up, but there's a lot more you could have doen to kick it off.

Nice set up, but there's a lot more you could have done to kick it off.