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Discussion of "Escape from Paranoia" by ShaShaChelle


1 QuantasCylak 4 years, 9 months ago Reply

You could change out a few words like "walking slowly and unsteadily" for better words like, "stumbling." Its hard to notice things like that in your own work.
The title and the last line create a very good hook. Interested to see if you're going anywhere with this.


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