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Discussion of "In The Heart of the Sun" by Savarager


1 writerwannabe 5 years, 7 months ago Reply

Great writing, Sav!! An excellent display of "show don't tell". Love it!


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1 Savarager 5 years, 7 months ago Reply

Thanks, WW!
....what does "show, don't tell" mean?


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1 djinndarme 5 years, 7 months ago Reply

Savarager, I was fascinated by this story. It was a beautiful job of showing the action playing out first hand, instead of making the reader feel as though he or she is being told a story through another party.


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1 writerwannabe 5 years, 7 months ago Reply

"Show don't tell"....djinndarme beat me to it...lol. Again, you do that extremely well!


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1 Savarager 5 years, 7 months ago Reply

Heh, thanks. Believe it or not, "show don't tell" has its own Wikipedia article =P


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1 Cheeseliker 5 years, 7 months ago Reply

wow, great stuff here. An unbelievable occurence told believable, thats not an easy thing to do.


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1 Savarager 5 years, 6 months ago Reply

!! thanks!


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1 honeygloom 5 years, 5 months ago Reply

I had this feeling like I was missing something. I checked your profile and here it is, the missing piece. Hopefully for Yuan-Tei his archers are loyal and don't rat him out:) But maybe for us, as readers, it would be a good thing. Either way I seriously love this story.


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1 Savarager 5 years, 5 months ago Reply

Oh, you read the other one first? yeah, this is the first story of the...ah..."saga" (heh). I had the mental image of a guy using nothing more than a staff to defend himself from an absolute hail of arrows (think like the comic/movie "300").

Then, because this scene wasn't confined to any one place or time in history, I came up with the idea of creating my own "world" where these characters could fit into. I had (and have) some other story ideas that I keep adapting into this series, all building up to one serious mother of a conclusion =)


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1 honeygloom 5 years, 5 months ago Reply

OK now I'm even more impressed. Out of one image you created this whole universe? Incredible. I'm just as interested in the journey as the conclusion, which is a very good thing:)


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1 fireball 2 years, 2 months ago Reply

I know that you haven't been on Storymash in a long time, but I really esteem the work that you wrote. I like relatively realistic portrayals of martial arts talent in fiction, and was wondering if you had any real interest or training in real life. Moreover, I was curious as to whether or not you had any inclination to pick the story back up again.

Are you accepting other chapters to be added to your own work at this time, or am I out of my league in asking? It's been a while since I wrote here, but I've never wanted to add things to other people's fiction without their permission. I'm not sure if that's necessarily a rule, but your work is of a significantly higher quality than what I usually read. I loved how much characterization you threw into a scene that otherwise lacked people. The geography, for instance, was sort of a character in its own right.

Would you mind if I tried to pick something up?

Thank you!


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