1 Year Ago

Some Super Secret Lab Somewhere

Two men stood side by side in the poorly lit laboratoy, their faces illuminated by the pale blue light emanating from their latest work.

"We did it!" said on of the scientiests. His hair was more gray than the brown it once was, "my life's work is finally complete!"

"You did it, old friend," said his companion with a smile. This man was about 10 years the others' junior, "I merely butted in and added my piece of the puzzle."

"You are too modest," replied the companion with an equally warm smile, "this project would not have been complete without your 'piece'."

"This will completely, change the world," said the younger scientist, "wars, crime, famine, despair. All of these will be a thing of the past now."

"Now, now," replied the older one with another smile, "aren't we getting just a bit ahead of ourselves?"

"Oh, you're right, what was I thinking," the younger scienti said after pausing a moment. "we should celebrate!"

"Indeed, we should," replied the older one.

"I know a great strip club not far from here," said the younger one, "let's go, shall we?"

"Yes, good. Good! What a marvelous idea," said the older one, genuinely please as a child at the idea, "let us get going."

**********************************

I felt very dizzy and weak as soon as I stepped out of the lobby of the skyscraper. A cold gust of wind deep blew down from the recesses of the late night/early morning sky, taking my strength with it.

My mind again wandered to muffins. I felt a wave of depression slowly gliding over me. A muffin, warm and full and fluffy, and rich with life and nourishment was all I needed. It was all that I wasn't.  I was tired and hungry and beaten and confused and then tired some more. Even the thought of the coke sex I'd surely soon be having with Rose couldn't lift my spirits.

Then, I saw a bakery across the street, and my woes were lifted.

I turned my frown right upside down and skipped on over to the sweet sweets shop. Inside, their selection was amazing! Their muffins ranged from old time favorites to new and exciting recipes, to **** that didn't even sound like it belonged in a muffin but would probably taste good anyway. They had chocolate chip, blueberry, orange honey, coffee muffins, muffins with sprinkles, muffins with nuts, muffins with banana and dried fruit, even sour cream and onion muffins, and garlic and tuna muffins. And just when good (and weird) couldn't get better (or weirder), it did! They were having a special promotion on muffins, buy two, get one free and get a free tin of shoe polish! How awesome was that? I mean I don't ever polish my shoes nor do I plan too, but come on! It's free!

I bought six muffins and ate three on the spot. The honey orange was excuisite. The blueberry, an alltime favorite did not dissapoint. Even the garlic and tuna muffin was oddly delicious. I was refreshed, re-energized and revitalized!

I walked to the corner and stood, waiting for the light to change. I took out the banana muffin and took a giant bite.

NOM NOM NOM

Rose was going to pick me up back at the skyscraper.

NOM NOM NOM

I liked Rose. She smells pretty and acts nice and let's me do stuff to her.

NOM NOM NOM

Then I was going to go see Henry and tell him about everything.

NOM NOM NOM

He would help me and work everything out.

NOM NOM NOM

And then life would go back to normal.

NOM NOM NOM

A car pulled up to the red light in front of me.

NOM NOM NOM

A man got out.

NOM NOM NOM

He out his hand on the back of my head

NOM NOM WHAM

My head had made a dent in the side of the car.

WHAM

FWOOFFFF

I bent over, spitting out the delicious banana muffin as the knee pulled out of my stomach.

The man opened the door, shoved me in, got in himself, and drove off as I faded out of consciousness.