(it was four! They can't count either! That makes five!)

Dude! Write more! I suspect more people would try if they saw you putting in an effort. You're like the unofficial/official (it doesn't really matter here does it?) union leader here. Set an example! Be the change you (and others) want (of you) to see (because they're too lazy, unskilled, unread, unknown or any combination of the three)!

Well done, as usual. I'd try to give some detailed feedback but Cornelius just said it all (and better). My only concern is that this is all we'll get from you, and you'll let some other shmoe take a crack at **** up your proverbial ****, as you are wont to do.

Thank you much for the praise. I, too, had the idea of sticking in a reporter in there, but just didn't get around to it. Just wanted this first entry to be the groundwork for the type of story and characters this is. Also, I imagine (hope) this can be quite the interesting mash chapter, it can really go anywhere.

I haven't felt this way about most of the work I've seen here, but this definitely speaks to me. You painted it perfetly; the imagery (or lack thereof), the emotion, the rises and falls. Just splendid. Hats off to you, sir.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm sorry if I kind of burst the bubble, but this was mainly a writing exercise I was trying out. The idea is to write about two characters who have secrets from each other and have the audience never know either. So, I'm not entirely sure I will be continuing this one, but anyone is more than welcome to if they so wish.

Smoking is good because it's smoking :)

Didn't Cleese's character run away with Wanda and live happily ever after in the end? (I don't quite remember).

Yeah, I agree with the usual consequences of these kinds of shenanigans, but I just wanted to give it an unbelievably tight, easy end. No fuss, no muss.

So he decides to Rainman his way out of sex? Real smooth

Very nice indeed! I also liked the tone and the imagery. It was quite possibly the closest thing to rated PG-porn...(wait does that work?).
I would like to say though, that I was a little dissapointed with the guy's reaction at finding out the girl's a teenager. I mean, he already did it 4 times and is already knowingly cheating on his wife. When you've gone that far, you might as well be "**** yeah! Bangin' a teenager!" But, then again, I'm pretty sure that says less about the story and more about me...