ah ****. cat's outta the bag now. QC and SP are both me. damn this dude got me irritated!

Dear Lord, get off your pedestal! I welcome criticism, such as "too much dialogue," but criticism is instantly rendered worthless when the person doesn't even read the story. And if there were pages and pages of dialogue, I could understand how your mind could be overwhelmed, but come on... this is storymash. You pretty much said that you were overwhelmed by an amount of dialogue that equates to maybe two pages in a normal novel. Oh yeah, and since you couldn't let this all go and had to give your piffy response... it was a puddle of sweat. The line is used so commonly and makes so much sense that it's actually pretty cliche' and that's the only reason I possibly shouldn't have used it.
I must have thought about responding to your original comment for ten minutes before I finally did so. I don't usually trade barbs with people I deem ignorant. But your critique was just so ridiculous! The idea that you took the time to tell me that this short entry was UNREADABLE because of too much expository dialogue? Maybe the style wasn't to your taste, but I know enough to understand that it was certainly not unreadable. If reading takes that much effort for you, you're on the wrong site buddy.
As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, you remind me of the character Frat Brockwurst from my short story, slushpile. He is a publisher who can never manage to read more than a few words of "the drivel" as well.
You see, I read some of your work. It is good. And this tells me everything I need to know about you. You are an arrogant, pompous fool, whose eyes are half-hooded with boredom before you even begin to 'lower' yourself by reading anyone elses work, and at the first typo or flaw in the work, all of your ingrained prejudices bloom to fruition. You stop reading, shake your head with a soft smile, because you TRIED to read the 'drivel'. Then you actually take the time- your pecious time- to give the poor little writer a "helpful" critique, a few words of your incredbile wisdom, even though you know, sadly, that they'll never reach your level. But maybe, just maybe, your incredible words of wisdom will make them just a little bit better... close the gap a bit. Then, having done such a good deed, you go on to the next piece of 'drivel', feeling all warm and fuzzy...
Wipe the filter of arrogance out of your eyes, get 'em fresh, and take a look at all of your comments and how they reek of arrogance. And then, maybe next time you read something on this site you can actually read it without being distracted with all of your mental self-congratulations on how much better your writing ability is. Because frankly, I don't care if you are Stephen King- your comment was ludicrous and written in a condescending manner.

like... did you research my life to write this or something? lol. except for the baby part. haven't fallen off that cliff yet. whew.
Gave it a four.

better question is... how do we stop our own govt from doing this? lol.

this reads more like a lengthy blurb for a book, than a first chapter.
A good blurb, but a blurb. I didn't vote on this one.

i loved this! Unfortunately, jabs at the reality of world politics don't seem to penetrate much beyond the protective dumbassicus layer of most Amerian Voters cerebral cortex, so I don't expect this to stimulate many more comments or votes.
But I'm giving it a five. Very nice satire. Especially liked the fact that God thinks dinosaurs had more style.

typical woman...
lol. just kidding.
but not.
well, sort of.
okay, yeah, i'm just kidding. totally.
Although... sarah reminds me of my last girlfriend just a little bit.
not. just kidding!
i'm totally over her.
that bitch.

You could change out a few words like "walking slowly and unsteadily" for better words like, "stumbling." Its hard to notice things like that in your own work.
The title and the last line create a very good hook. Interested to see if you're going anywhere with this.

Good, but the ending was anticlimactic. By definition, something horrible needs to happen.

liked it. gave it a four. you actually have this planned out or just throwing out a good chapter to be mashed?