Discussion of "In a Nuts Hell chpt. 4" by Psycho1_77

Wow! This is great! I can't wait for the rest! Disappearing and reappearing fingers??? What the F!

I enjoy the "confusion" keeps me guessing

ya got me hooked Psycho....dont let up now. keep the insanity coming!

I'll add another installment soon... in the meantime, why don't you give a chapter a shot, I have been enjoying your work immensely...

Thoroughly enjoying the suspense.
Impressively boggled by the reality shifts.

Chris knows Dogwood Park to recognize every shift northward - gotta be a cop or military. Kill zone; avenue of escape. Yep. Military. Ends justify means. Consistent. He compartmentalizes fear and pain and lets neither control him. Almost robotic, how devoid of emotion he seems.

Minor distractions: he time jumps through the concession stand. Some * * * or other transition might be helpful there.

Some inconsistent verb tenses. is vs. was; could feel vs. felt; was starting/was running vs. started/ran. Like I said, they're minor, but editors will nail you on this.

Personally, I'd like the stench detailed a little more than "putrid." Make me sense it.

I'm not sure if this last question is unfair, but I'll ask it anyway. What is Chris's goal? To discover another human and find help? To merely get through the day? To learn why he's being hunted? With nothing more than an inner monologue, it's hard to focus in on the _why_ - might be a nice occasional flavor that betters the _what_ and _how_.

Keep up the story and if you want me to stop critiquing [nitpicking], say so.

(Transparency - 4)

Nah, if I wasn't open to the critiquing, I wouldn't post here. I take all the comments into consideration. As the story progresses, more and more will be revealed.

Reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode where everything is a prop like the tasteless chips - they find out they're in a dollhouse and a giant kid comes to play with them. I thought about writing a similar thing here but making it like he's in a computer game - my kids play dressup Barbie games etc and reminds me of that - accessories on accessories off - fingers, props, dogs, cars. what say, Psycho?

have at it, I'm not complaining at all. I'm just really glad that everyone is enjoying what I'm doing

You've got a really cool thing going here, can't wait to read more!

omg wtf.......gotta go cant read fast enough```jacci

holy what kindamind cameup with this?? lol i hope it doesnt end!!!!!!!!! jacci