One might not be able to claim love exists 100% yet one cannot deny its existence 100% either. I am not claiming its existence or non-existence, yet its very nature has the ability to cause great pain. Even illusions sometimes feel real.

I appreciate that, really thank you. I enjoy doing this type of writing in prose form instead of poetic form to give it a bit of spice. =)

Thanks for the advice, I am glad you liked it.

I am glad you enjoyed it. It is just part of the story, the reason for the heavy description in the beginning is to set up for the end. I hope you check out the rest and like it just as much. Thanks again.

Hey, I enjoy the interesting set-up to this sci-fi story. Your main characters dialog is very natural. Good Job =)

The story of the burden of life is not original at all, the description of the girl and her surrounds is elaborate. It is not clear about why she feels such burdens which distances the reader from her sorrow. The ending seemed cliche. Interesting concept, but seems to need some work.

I enjoy criticism, yet when it is such that finds its need to address its opinion in a vulgarly obvious way it lessens the intelligence of the aggressor claiming to understand the story when obviously one didn't is just plain funny. If you would read the story carefully I never addressed them being on a boat. And it is funny that one would call such a dialogue driven story lacking, yet gives no example of such and rather points out a opinion. Then you give your score, bravo! Allow yourself to be brought to such a level which projects your need for attention instead of validity. I merely laugh at such jargon, thanks for your "humble" and "elaborate" thoughts Persephonie.

as always it is wonderful to see your comments Honeygloom! I am glad you enjoyed it! =)

It is an interesting concept, I think the whole train and time will work if you fix the story a bit. Give some details about the character, why is he lonely? Fix your grammar buddy, re-read your work and you will see a ton of mistakes. Take a couple of reads and really pan out what you want from this story, I am sure you can make it wonderful.

The concept is interesting, but if you initially intend to change the format of the dialogue you don't need to keep putting message sent. But I see why you did it. And it is hard to get to much out of the conversation, I didn't know it was a guy and girl talking, at first to me it sounded like a parent talking to their child. Look back at this and detach yourself from it, and really shape the dialogue so as to inform the reader something about the two characters.