Discussion of "No Solace for the Dead" by Persephonie

First chapter I've read of yours, but it won't be the last. This is very well written. Flatline is probably the most mashed story on SM and this, Persephonie is among the top three in my book. 4 points!

Thanks for your feedback!

You didn't mention the gun though. I agree the writing is good, but the gun was a huge element of the first chapter and it was sitting in the bottom of the box the whole time she was looking at it. The narrator, Dean, didn't even mention it in this chapter which is a huge omission as far as keeping up the tension and continuity from the first chapter. I gave you a 3 because I like your writing, just the gun thing bothered me.

Sorry... I chose not to have the shiney metal in the box reflect a gun....maybe it was a ring? I just found it hard to believe that amongst all those treasured keepsakes that there would be a gun...even with 2 bullets....I have bullets in my own keepsake box...they were the rounds shot off at a military funeral...but I appreciate the comment.

love it

ur so kind. :)