Discussion of "Knows" by OriginalSim

Haha, very funny, yet creepy too. The fact that this dark shadow speaks in childish rhymes only seems to make it more sinister.

I didn't feel drawn in immediately, but the way you've personified the shadow is a nice twist.

Great job! I like the rhyming aspect and you notched up the sinister side of the story a bit.

Thanks, OS. Looks like we had different ideas from the same angle - or something like that. Anyway, enjoyed yours too. It's like The Hobbit meets White Noise.
"What has its gots in its pocketses?"
"DEATH!"

I loved your third chapter. You gave the story an unexpected twist. It inspired me to write a fourth. I hope you have a chance to read it. Unfortunately as I was editing I hit publish button accidently so please excuse typos. I gve you a 5.

SMAC_MASH is evil

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SMAC_MASH/

Nice! You've "upped" the interest and suspense quotient a couple of notches for sure!

OS...I read this a month ago and intended comment, but didn't (one day less than a month ago I could've told you why...not anymore). This is really, really great writing.