In 1742, a diminutive Swedish Alchemist by the name of Robert Thorensson went to London, England for a meeting of the Arcanum Mysteri Society. Had he not, it might have been a better than average Sunday for Joe.
  As it was, "Doctor" Thorensson spent the better part of two weeks in various and sundry London gin mills with his friends, getting drunk and, in general, having a great time convincing people he was, in fact, a Swedish leprechaun.
  When the good Doctor returned home, it was only a matter of a few days time before he began missing Merry Olde England. Or at least, the gin. Being an enterprising young man of 28 or so, he began experimenting.  Juniper berries were abundantly available, of course, but his quest centered on a readily available source of alcohol. Ultimately, he chose sphagnum moss. It must ruefully be admitted that this is the extent of "Doctor" Robert Thorensson, Esquire's part in this story, as, once perfected, the Doctor lived out his remaining years producing homemade gin, selling it, and maintaining an almost astounding level of drunkenness.
  After his death, a great-grandson was born to the family of "Doctor" Thorensson. Due to distance in years and many nights of familial "enhancement" of the tales of "Doctor" Thorensson, the child was named Robert in his predecessor's honor.
  Having grown up with the romantic lies about his Great-grandfather, the latter Robert, in 1838, began the manufacture of Dr. Robert's Grand Elixr. The long and storied history of the Thorensson Distillers Company always managed to pivot on the liquid variously known as "Moss Gin", "Juniper Joy", "Magnificent Moss Gin": all of which were based solely on handwritten notes about the manufacture of the original Dr. Thorensson's Moss and Juniper Gin.
  With sales falling in the mid 1940's, the Thorensson Distillers Company merged with a then hip brewery out of Sheboygan, Michigan. In order to revamp their product line, they added a twist of citrus flavoring and titled their main offering "Dr. Bob's 80 Proof". Citizens suffering the effects of too much of this fine product began calling it "Bob's Bomb" and other, less printable names. It was officially renamed "Bob's Bombastic 80 Proof" during the heyday of the 1970's psychedelic period. Featuring pop-art labels and media commercials to Hendix-like licks with deep growling voices stating that "Bob's Bomastic is Bomb-tastic!" clinched the product as offering a cheap drunk and ignoring any attention to its awful day-after effects.
  Had Joe known any of this information, perhaps the sight that lay before him would have been slightly less intimidating. But, then agin, perhaps not.