Grungit laughed a little silent laugh to himself. He had successfully led the expedition to recover John's balls and now he knew he'd be a rich man. John's balls would make all the difference in the war between his planet and the Huockians.
He would be paid well, indeed. His OverMaster had already promised him money, women and writing implements galore. He would spend the rest of his life spending money, having his way with the women and writing stories to his black heart's content.
"Captain! Sensors indicate a vessel approaching. It's a Huock War Turtle!"
"Damn. Open a hailing frequency."
The screen at the front of the bridge lit up with the ugly face of Limnitz, Grungit's nemesis.
"Ah, I see we have a little worm returning from space parts unknown. In a helpless little vessel," Limnitz' face glowed with pleasure.
"I return to my planet with the Chalice of Murkkatz. It has been restored with John's balls," Grungit said menacingly.
"Good luck with that," Limnitz said, laughing as he terminated the connection.
Seconds later, the blast from Limnitz' ship took out Grungit's main power. His vessel was now speeding along in space, its occupants no longer able to control its path.
Days later, the careening spaceship containing John's balls encased in the Chalice of Murkkatz slammed into a largely desolate planet. Grungit and his compatriots would not survive.
An observer on the planet saw the streak of falling flame; saw an impact of dust and one gleaming golden chunk came flying his way.
He was an Odonterron - sort of like an Earth sloth - not prone to avoiding speeding objects ejecting from crashing spaceships. He stood there as the Chalice smacked into his head, neatly dumping John's balls into his brain.
Immediately, the sloth-like creature became aware of himself. He conceptualized a fantastic device he would later call a computer. He designed and built it within a day. He was able to build a large transmitter/receiver and pointed it towards Earth to pick up satellite internet signals.
After days of searching, he finally found the website. He signed up and began:
Title: A Sloth's Perspective
Chapter: I am, therefore I belong. We, of the ovid populace hearken to the song of a different flautist.
He left the Intro and Tags boxes blank and immediately published the story. Now he had only to wait for April 20th.
Whatever that was.