Discussion of "Tales From Onionville - II" by OriginalSim

Been working this up over the last 6 weeks or so - shows how little time I really have. Thought it was ready enough to throw out to all you talented people!!!!

I'll provide some clapping. Fun start. Strange how the zombie's(?) eyes were sightless, but that leaves a nice avenue for backstory. Bobby must have quite a past, and I'm intrigued to find out why he left NY for Bumscrew, MO.

(Sidenote: I find it funny that most of the readers here weren't alive in 1978; s'pose that makes this historical fiction?)

Why is Bobby so caught up in time? Thirty minutes for his morning routine, three seconds too late to answer Richie's bang-bangs, ten seconds to traverse twenty feet (traveling two feet per second doesn't seem that impressive to me, mistype?). Dunno if/how he was indeed caught up in the mafia, but I'd like to find out.

The move from toast to locking the front door was abrupt and a bit disorienting. And I'm unsure why Bobby would choose Onionville or befriend Richie. Thus far, he doesn't display any affinity toward either (besides the fascination with the truck).

Good set up, good leave. Good job. (4)