With a grain of salt... I thought it was well structured, though not my favorite.

I gave this considerable thought, and while the storyline is endearing and nicely done… I’m afraid it’s not for me.

Great opening. This story has a web of possibilities…

Intriguing tone… I’d definitely read another chapter. And while I tend to agree with Katrina on sentence structure, there are certain descriptive elements that unite the overall story.

The idealistic language rings a true-to-life feel that I really enjoyed.

'Not dirty, just tussled'… gives a lasting impression, and with its fresh urban-esque vibe, I can almost hear the voice of the city.

Funny! And the 'keen as mustard' bit was great!

Sometimes, one plate is all you need... I really enjoyed this chapter. It's relatively concise, leaving a plethora of possibility. And I believe on many levels, the evocative feelings Carmen expresses, is at times, universal.

Tedium of workforce doldrums and afterlife… nice combination.

Enjoyed this chapter, and the figurative comparison... "It didn't make up for their architectural sins..."