Discussion of "Nothing. Nothing at all."(draft) by NeoShaolin47

Welcome to SM! Great start here. Good character builds, in particular the shrink. Understandably, you're still building your protagonist and what you've shown so far is very good. Introducing his interest in stargazing is a nice piece that heightens the interest in the story. What could stargazing have to do with the death of his fiancee and subsequent visits to the shrink? Cool premise. The only down side I noticed was in the first two paragraphs (not a good place to find same). Great description of the sun setting and introducing the protagonist on the "street below". In the next paragraph he's in an office. Jarring. Very. Some readers would stop right there. Overall I liked it a lot and I'm interesed to see where you or someone else goes with it. 4 stars.

I forgot. Can't vote until you publish...lol.

Thank you very much Writerwannabe! I'm definitel, still polishing this story up, and i'm very grateful for your thoughts. I can completely understand what you meant about the introduction; It's worded confusingly. I mean to show that the protagonist is in the office, which is ninety feet above the pavement. thanks for pointing that out :). I'll be writing more, this piece in itself is about three chapters. Hope you keep reading!