All around great writing. Page-turner minus the suspense. I could see him do everything you were describing and feel the way he felt. Please continue.
PS If you turn this into a thriller I will be very angry.

Very nice. A lot of people get so lost in description, factual styles of writing, etc. that they seem to forget they're writing to tell a story. You have not.
A few things to point out:
I had to stop and think after you wrote "the sweetest thing in the world, coming even before cinnamon buns and apple cider." This comes across as a little immature. People aren't sweet like food. Yes, you can use foods analogically, but they work more for things like kisses.
You express twice that Jessica feels ashamed to be around her daughter after doing "dirty" things. Combining the paragraphs would eliminate running in circles (which only happens in this one case.)
There are a few sentences that need to be joined like "I'm not as afraid as I used to be. Leaving Hannah alone."
I wish you could edit your work here after publishing it, but since you can't, just keep your eye out for these kinds of things in future writings.
Well done.

This is 1984. The face I saw was the one of the man in V for Vendetta. I should be picturing what you want me to be seeing, not what another writer wanted. It's not what you're writing that bothers me, I was actually excited when I understood the topic, but the way you're writing it is too redundant.

Keep it up though. You did a fine job constructing the story, you just need a little bit of a new direction.

I'm the first one to rate this and I didn't rate it a 1, but for some reason that's the rating showing.
You had me for a good half of it, but somewhere it just started feeling empty for some reason. I know part of it was because I was confused by some of the things you said. Like when he reaches the baby and the other guy says “She ended up here with the car there.” Why is he pointing that out? Aren't these things obvious?
Other than that I don't have complaints that aren't technicalties. Some of those being:
I'm pretty sure "Got some bad news" and the next line are being said by the same person. You need to combine these.
You say that he can tell what's going on by the tone of the other man's voice twice. Take out one of them.
Many of these problems could be taken care of with a few, thorough read throughs.

Good enough to where I'll read the next chapter and that's definitely saying something.

Okay I read through it again and found some examples of the rythm problem I mentioned.
Adding "he thought" to the third sentence is a little frivolous. I'd end it with the question.
Friendship and companionship are very similar words and make for a "repetitive stumble."
Adding "taken away in an instant" does not work here. You need to make a new sentence with that. Otherwise there's confusion over what he's trying to sum up, the friendship or the death.
There are several other things that could use a little rewriting, but I hope I've shown you enough to get my point across. This isn't negative criticism. I'm not trying to say you suck at writing. I'm just trying to help.

Not great, but not bad.
What you're writing about is interesting enough, but there's something wrong with the rythm. I can't put my finger on anything specific and for that I apologize. There was just a kind of clumsiness, maybe in your words or punctuation. It's not terrible by any means, just something to look into.
And you don't need to repeat "the screen" twice in the first sentence. You establish what he's looking at when you say it the first time.

Intriguing. I loved a lot of the ways you worded things, but "the casual eye" stood out quite a bit. Very good.

I can't decide wether I agree with Cleveland or like it the way it is. Either way, I like this start a lot. I love when stories don't start at the beginning. Only criticism: You show a quote or two and then say the men have been outside for an hour. You need to add a little more in between to show that time is passing.

I'm interested to see where this will go. Good work.

Pretty good. I think you've got a good, realistic form of writing that makes for a smooth read. Only thing I didn't get: She was hiking her skirt up at an age when they were still using lunch boxes? Maybe I need to read on to see if there's an explanation.
4 stars