Discussion of "A Vampired Werewolf - Prologue" by MoonlessNight
Ace 7 years, 6 months ago
First and foremost, welcome to SM!
hidden comment from Ace with score of 3
griotmama 7 years, 5 months ago
Your writing was subtle and your description of small gestures and seemingly insignificant movements or actions were interesting and fairly precise. I suggest you include more vivid but subtle details when describing the interaction between the characters while speaking. Use the character descriptions of action, mannerisms, and movement to provide readers with insights about the characters instead of stating it explicitly in the dialogue. In other words, allude to slightly noticeable physical characteristics of werewolves and vampires in your descriptions, without being too explicit, to give readers a sense of who they are. I think you have a gift for hiding important details about the relationships of the characters involved under seemingly insignificant descriptions. Develop this more.
Great writing. It pulled me in.
hidden comment from griotmama with score of 0
hebe6405 7 years, 5 months ago
A simple, easy start... needs something more though.
hidden comment from hebe6405 with score of 1