Discussion of "Ghostwritten" by Maurelius

good job--very interesting idea and good voice!

I like the story progession, but the dialogue seems a little forced. Overall, very good though.

Nice work and word choice. I liked durance and flummox. Not bad though, nice continuation of the story.

Thanks for the input! Dialogue is by far the hardest part when it comes to writing for me, especially with a pre-chapter that was fairly vague in defining some of its aspects (Tribunal, credits, elders, etc). I did like what Nan did though. Kudos to him/her.

I found myself gaping at the emotions expressed. It felt like everything was hammed up, like that skit where everyone overplays their emotions. Grammatically, it was great, but grammar isn't everything. It felt trite; I feel I've seen it done a hundred times.

Hmmm, I understand what you mean Doc. I reread it after I returned home from school, and it seems as though I overdid "Mary" quite a bit. I guess I seem to get too much into characterization sometimes without looking at how the character is actually acting. Thanks!

one of the more grammatically correct pieces of writing I've read thus far. the idea is interesting, but Mary Shelley seems a little...overdone. nevertheless, it's a good start. keep it up!

Thanks! Mary does seem to be overdone; I should have stopped the story when it said that I was looking into the face of Mary Shelley so that others could finish it off. I write too much sometimes...

Hmm I thought it was nice. Check out my story The highway by philly1

I don't think you 'overdid' the feelings of Mary since she has been locked up for nearly 400 years. She seems as though she is unstable and fickle. Your grammar and sentence structure is amazing, and for such a short story, it has great descriptions. Nice work.

I thought this was a very interesting story, for lack of better words. I hope that you will write more. Since this kept me reading, I hope you will publish more for everyone to enjoy with the same amount of enthusiasm.

This was an interesting turn of events. I like it and hope to come across some more of your work. Good job.