Discussion of "Chain Reaction: The Onset" by Madconstant
ladyvike15 4 years, 5 months ago
I must ask, Why not continue this chapter? And the dialog is a little confusing I might add. But all in all a great start.
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hebe6405 4 years, 5 months ago
Start a new paragraph with each new set of dialog. It was difficult to track who was talking in the first paragraph.
My thought process: Commonwealth - Star Wars?
This ends before it starts and it's very hard to decide if I like the story due to lack of content. The writing is good and the characters have potential.
Typo in the last paragraph: Shipa becomes Shirpa; as it's scifi/fantasy, I accepted Shipa as a term though I wanted to read Shirpa.
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