Alright people, this is the first story. I have more material that goes with it, but I wanted to get some comments on it before I go any further. I'm just curious to know what other people will think of it; my daughters think that it's pretty cool (go figure??)

I agree. Poetry can add a sort of abstract point of view to things. You never know, there might be a single poem that inspires us to write a serious colllective novel. Who would've thunk it??

Outstanding, I appreciate th feedback. I'll give that a shot. Maybe I can come in and do this right the first time.....lol

I mean, not really a conclusion to the story, but an ending to the chapter. Opening up and wrapping my point accross in one chapter has not been one of my strongest points....

I've been looking through all these stories, and every one that i've read has a good storyline. But, this is my problem; whenever I get ready to jump into a story, i'll have a good start, but I have a hard time coming to a reasonable conclusion. What should I do??

This just makes me giddy......I love it!!!!

I'll see if I can throw my two cents in, once I read it. Just let me know whats needed.

Ok, I messed around and hid my comment, and can't get it showing again. But, this is an interesting story, very dark.

Ok....that was different. I think that this was one of the few stories I had to re-read....
Very graphic....Impressive

Wow......this is a good one. I'm looking forward to seeing more...