Discussion of "In the dark" by LadyAdelia

Well written. This can now go in multiple directions. Let me know if you want it to go down a very dark path. I've envisioned one or two more chapters...but it won't be pretty. If you've got an ending in mind, go ahead and lead us to chap 3. Maybe I'd add a branch after you have given us more of what's on your mind.

You're always more than welcome to mash my stuff. Thanks for the awesome critique! :)

The kidnapper surprised me and you left us hanging by not explaining (yet) why he wanted a "**** virgin"...;o).

Parts of the chapter seemed a bit clunky, for example, the girl's thought, "Oh, my God..." before she really had any idea of her situation. Also, I would think that this girl - having suffered under her mother's new boyfriend - would be more belligerent toward a kidnapper that seems to be something of a weak, unsure bummler.

Probably not expressing myself well...lol...sorry. I like the storyline. You've captured my interest and that's the main thing. Good job!

No WWB, I got what you were trying to say and I agree. I still like the story, but I did feel she should have been more....of a smartass, as suggested in the previous chapter.

Much better flow thna previous chapter. Good stuff.

Please Mash...I'm feeling a little stuck. I know where I want this story to go but I'm having trouble getting it there.

I thought this chapter was really strong and cringe worthy. Good writing. Good story build!

Thank you, Dogdeity!

Caught my interest, very well written. Definitely going to indulge in the other chapters tonight.