Discussion of "Chapter 2 - Confusion" by LadyAdelia

Good continuation thus far. You did well with the dialogue. My one suggestion would be to break up the dialogue with small snippets of action/description - for example, when she's talking about Cancun, actually describe/show the reader what she's feeling rather than tell it through the dialogue only. You can show a bit of her emotions at what the woman is saying - not necessarily saying "I feel confused," but rather "My head spun as I tried to grasp what exactly she was telling me." Keep it coming, LadyA, you're doing great so far. :D

Wow! Thank you very much! :)

Do keep it coming. I want to know where you are going with the story and how it will play out.

Great continuation, Lady A! While I understand and agree with what JD said about showing her emotions in response to what the "angel" was saying; I thought you did a fantastic job of using dialogue to describe the scene.

The entire storyline remains interesting and I like your twist on "life" after death. Imaginative and fun to read...;o)