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Discussion of "Three little monkeys fell through a hole" by LadyAdelia


1 S_Angele 5 years, 10 months ago Reply

You definitely have my interest piqued. I like the build-up of both the plot and the characters.


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1 LadyAdelia 5 years, 10 months ago Reply

Thank you! I will try and get the next chapter out here in the next day or so. Feel free to mash on it! =)


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1 cnd140 5 years, 10 months ago Reply

I liked the way you began this story. It made me feel like I was going to enjoy the story, and that you were going to do something that would twist the story. Then it fell flat. I would like the kids to show there feelings, not just have you tell me about them. I guess this is what my teachers meant when they told me to show, and not tell.


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1 LadyAdelia 5 years, 10 months ago Reply

Thank you for your feedback. This is a work in progress so the character development will continue into the next chapter. I haven't had very much time to write but expect more from this story line soon! =)


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1 writerwannabe 4 years, 9 months ago Reply

Okay, I'm a year late on this one...lol. No matter. I love this storyline...I don't much care for the way you're telling it. Who is the narrator? Addressing the audience directly is generally considered very amateur. I've had my own hand slapped several times..lol.

But, the story, LadyAdelia is fabulous! Conversely to cnd140's comment, I found the chapter picked up speed and intrique as it developed. The ending was great! So, now, a whole danged year later...I'm gonna read the rest of the story...;o)


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1 LadyAdelia 4 years, 9 months ago Reply

Thank you for the great critique! I appreciate all the suggestions I can get. This last year has been horrible for my writing and I am thrilled to have time to write agian. :)


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1 alharris 4 years, 6 months ago Reply

In addition to being a skilled storyteller, you are a great mom.


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