Nice work.

This was an interesting turn of events. I like it and hope to come across some more of your work. Good job.

I like the sensitivity here. I could see her relief.

I went back and read Fishy business and I can follow you. I am interested to see what Collin finds out at the factory.

I like the story line and I can follow it. I can smell the smoke in the room and see the wrinkled old lady sizing up the young man.

I have read other's points of view about this site and like others you have talked around the subject and not to anyone who can make a difference. I comment because feedback is essential to sharpening your skills. For the most part is we have to remain anonymous in order to freely express ourselves...so what. It is nice to have a place where we can let our hair down. Use what you can and ignore the trash.

Okay, continue. Not sure where you are going, but I would be interested to read.

What are you daydreaming about and why? What are you escaping from and desiring to get too? Please continue.

I like this one. Please continue. Well written. I could see what was going on.

I would have waited for the author to do the second chapter before trying this at home alone.