Sounds cool. Is this paragraph actually in the story, or is it merely descriptive?

I really liked it too! A fun read. I do have one critique though, and it's a big one. You use a lot of superfluous language, almost to the point of being a bit purple.

"It is, of course, in this city that we find our hero, a rather unlikely man by the drab name Emil."

Could become

"It is in this city that we find our hero, an unlikely man by the drab name of Emil."

The words I removed don't add anything - except unneeded length and complication. You could even remove one of the adjectives remaining. Heaping adjectives upon a piece of writing can make it unwieldy, though in general I like your choices of which ones to use.

Looking forward to mashing with you. Keep 'em coming...

Alrighty, Suds 3 is up.

A VERY tentative draft of chapter 3 is up. It's actually not so much a draft even as scraps that may eventually be woven into the story, but I thought I'd post up so other people on this project can look and/or offer criticism and thoughts if they want to.

Er... can a more seasoned masher offer me any advice? I'm a little bit confused about where I should start my process.

This is harder then I thought! D=

Sure - when should I start? When should I be finished by?

Thanks for taking the time to let me know. I'll watch for this in the future.

This project sounds like fun to me. Can I sign on? I'll take any chapter.

Last chapter up!

http://storymash.com/u/Jinxedit/hubesevo/

Cheers.

I'll help you! What can I do?