I have to agree with Nate, here. I enjoyed the writing, but the structure made it hard to follow. Nice work, all in all. Maybe I'll take a crack at a chapter, soon.

Feel free to read any of mine... (wink wink)

/shameless self-promotion.

While I appreciate the subject matter, and the heart behind the words, I felt it that this wasn't constructed so much as scribbled out. I don't mean disrespect by that at all, as I've been known to scribble poetry and prose without hesitation or thought, myself. Just a few simple critiques: Check your grammar. Sometimes the turning point for a reader is not in the subject, but in the way in which it's proposed. Secondly, think about structuring your prose or poetry.

I like the style of this chapter. It reminds me of the thought process while one is walking. Everything is simple, and very distinct. Well written and whimsical, even with a note of seriousness. Nice work.

I felt that this was a little too wordy. While it's good to have description, there's a difference between painting a picture and writing a thesis. This chapter felt a little too "college vocab". I'd actually suggest dumbing it down.

Pretty good use of descriptive writing, but you should focus more on punctuation and spelling. Good writing is a mixture of talent and knowledge. Not to worry, though, I make plenty of mistakes, myself. Good work.

Chapter one is Shari, if you haven't read it. There's a new chapter up, too. Enjoy.

I liked this a lot, so I wrote a chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Just a couple of things. First, proofreading can really be helpful. Sometimes, you just miss certain things while you're typing away. Secondly, a dog and it's friends set up obstacles to jump? This left me a little confused.