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Discussion of "Teleported" by Jackoalltrades


1 writerwannabe 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

WOW! Spectacular story, Jacko!

Loved how you turned what appeared to be a regular mugging into a sci-fi thriller!

Excellent wordsmithing and phrasing, totally believable dialogue and a really great premise; to say nothing of the cliff hanger ending.

Certainly among the top 10 or so I've read here...;o).


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1 Jackoalltrades 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

You could always mash it ;) I'd be honored.

Also, the cliff hanger ending was meant to be mashed.


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1 writerwannabe 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

So read the danged mash, already! LOL.


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1 Jackoalltrades 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

Well WWB, I didn't think it was one of my best works, but I did very much enjoy writing it. I'm very glad you enjoyed it.


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1 writerwannabe 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

LOL...ain't that the way it goes? What I thought was the best I'd ever written, wasn't seen that way by the folks here...and, of course, vice versa has also happened...;o)

I haven't mashed anything for a long, long time; maybe, this will be it. I'll give it another read and see if anything pops into my head...;o)


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1 writerwannabe 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

Okay, I think I've got a string on a mash...couple of days..;o)


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1 alsoran 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

Really liked this one! Am glad it was the featured chapter today as I might have missed it! Looking forward to your mash writerwannabe. Feel like there are lots of possibilities to explore!
I think I would have prefered it if your supernatural-mugger didn't have a gun though, but maybe that's just because I'm British...


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1 writerwannabe 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

We could learn a lot from the Brits on gun control!! ;o)


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1 wordjunkie 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

Wow. I keep thinking you main character isn't in the same century he left. Time Transported would make escape and survival a whole different experence direction. Maybe towards the end of a full story we would find him even glad that the mugger sent him to this future world. Could be fun to create a whole book on this first chapter.


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1 Lilithia 2 years, 6 months ago Reply

This was a great story!


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1 xfionax 2 years, 5 months ago Reply

Wow this is a great story. It reminds me of that movie jumper. Good job!


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1 dkk4510 2 years, 2 months ago Reply

"It was an amazing feeling tainted only by the vise grip on his forearm." Favorite line! Wonderful story, with genius writting! Full of twists and turns and just...WOW.

Next...


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1 rico76sgirl 2 years, 2 months ago Reply

Nice story Jack! I love a good sci-fi thriller!


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