Discussion of "..Just another day in the life of.." by JackFedora

don't take this the wrong way, but the story was very broken up and disoriented. You tried like the original to make the devil human, but instead you played upon all the stereotypical red cape type things, you turned the devil into a drag queen... with that being said, the original author, the response, and my additon, where not a oprah fight, but a building on an intro, into the next chapter... decorating? I don't like reading stories that are condescending, where is the story?

Before you decide to critique, it would be in your best interest to use proper punctuation and/or correct spelling usage. Secondly, I see no condescending points in my story. The only thing that would make you have anything to say is my comment about your story clashing with the original, ergo, making it seem to me to be a direct clone and ripoff of said story. Mine was taking it in a new direction, which is the point of StoryMash-- taking an author's work and making it your own.

So, in summation, my comments were not a gibe at your writing style, just an personal opinion. Don't take it to heart. If you have any sincere comments about my writing, I welcome them. Otherwise, let's leave the pettiness at the door and get on with the writing.

Thanks~

I was not trying to be "petty" in any way. I was telling you my honest opinion. I was trying to prove the fact that although my vocabulary isn't as extensive as yours seems to be, the passion from the other writers was not forced, it flowed very well. I could care less about punctuation and mispells, I'm not in school anymore, and everything that I write, I write with the intention of reading outloud, because I am not and english major, I am a story teller.

sorry if I offended you Mr Fedora

After reading the original, and then yours, I can see where j_clone gathered his opinions. And that's what they were, opinions. He wasn't demeaning you as a writer. Just pointing out how you took the story in a totally different way. Those were, as you put them, 'sincere comments.' Taking and receiving criticism is as much a part of it, this too is what StoryMash is about. I believe you have your own style, and you put that in play with this story. But, once again, I agree with j_clone. Your story did seem rather broken up, so much that it was almost uncomfortable to read. Which, to point out, is my opinion as well. You tried to be smart with your writing style, in terms of the devils sense of humor. Yet, it just sort of took away from it. You also made a comment on his punctuation. Yet, if you look at your third paragraph, you'd find plenty of mistakes on your own part. I do, however, commend you on taking the story a completely different way. It does make the devil seem like an arrogant ****. Which, in its own, does make him more human as well.

Okay. Retract the aforementioned "oprah winfrey special" comment, because that's what this is on its way to becoming. It doesn't need to be this big, or have any more people jumping on the debate wagon. You haven't offended me, and I apologize if I came off as harsh. Not my intention, but as you can plainly see, things are never their true proportions on the internet.

In any event, please continue with your story, and best of luck with it.

Conception- Thanks for stepping in, but there won't be any further need for a mediator. It's appreciated just the same.

J/F

It wasn't my intention to be a 'mediator.' But to point at my thoughts as well. I just happened to agree with j_clone on some of his thoughts. If you can not take creative criticism maybe you shouldn't post stories online where anyone can read or react to them. Once, again, just my opinion.

I think perhaps you missed the whole 'thanks' and the '..appreciated just the same'.

I'm glad you agree with him. This was to be a positive close on this situation.

Nothing further~

Oh no. I got that. I just found the 'mediator' comment to be quite rude.

Right. Well, stack it up against all the other apologies I've made on here. Here's yours: I'm sorry.

To all who visit this chapter, please, no more comments. Let's all move on. No more drama. :)

And I'm not being rude any further, so please don't suggest that I am.. I'm not directing this to you, Conception. Just to anyone else visiting this chapter, lol.

Chapter Closed-