Discussion of "Fallen Angels" by JD_Renaissance

That was great! Spoke to me very profoundly.

Very dark - and VERY good. I loved the creepy imagery of the doll!

I enjoyed this quite a bit.
"blended with the night like ink bleeds into black cloth." Great line.

I gave this story a high rating because I thinks it's one of the btter stories I've read on this forum, but there was one paragraph that threw me off, particularly the line that reads, "A doll, the personification of innocence, or rather, the imitation of it."

I feel maybe to take this line out, because it's directly saying what the doll represents. I find it a bit repetitive within the context of the paragraph

otherwise, great imagery and descriptions.I liked the spiritual undertone with a dark poetic style.
I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

Wow, JD! ;o)

This is so damned good. Some adjectives come to mind; eloquent for example. Profound smacks me in the head. Analogous writing. How do you write an entire story based upon analogy? Here's a prime example.

Really fabulously done!

After your rather long absence I was expecting another Renaissance chapter. I'm not disappointed that that's not the case because I'm assuming you've taken that off SM for a higher purpose...;o). Please let us all know when we can buy it!

Thanks everyone for your wonderful comments. It was so nice to delve back into the world of imagery again.

okay, the doll creeped me out, but, eh....you know me! LOL

and oh yea, good work and all. Do I really need to say that? You should know by now that if I don't think to highly of something from you (and to be honest, when does that ever happen?) then you bet'cha I'll be letting you know! LOL It's good to read something from you other than your Renaissance thread. By the way, are you not posting anymore because it's actually turning into a novel??? Hmmmmm. ;)

Thanks, Dkk. I'm glad you liked this one.

As for Renaissance, I'll leave up what I have done here for a little while longer, but I won't be finishing the story on StoryMash. Yes, eventually I'd like to develope it into an actual novel. But for now, like so many other stories, it is on my back burner until my other novel is finished.

Thanks again!

Exhilarating. In the 'xomg I found another amazing author I must immediately devour'. This is the first piece of your that I read so I must have been clairvoyant when I chose. You hit all of my favorites in the first paragraph. Reiteration. Prose. Fragments.

Loved the doll. However, someone of your caliber can do better. A doll is somewhat cliche - and don't worry, you pulled it off without seeming so - but you could have taken it further, distorted the symbol a bit more, and with your talent, make it work just as well. I'm a little disappointed you didn't, but only because I'm a demanding reader.

Definitely one of the best I have read thus far. Write more on this, please.

Thank you, Cleo. This is one of my favorites thus far and I am very glad you enjoyed it.