Thanks WWB! I noticed after publishing that I initially called the "protector" from the earlier chapters it and then switched to he after revealing he was Alex's brother. However, it could be read as intentional if one takes into account Anderson's personality - a blatant disrespect for Alex's brother by calling him it instead of he or him and changed only after Alex started calling him he. I'm gonna stick with that for now and say it was intentional until someone calls me out on some major yet somewhat logical BS-ing. (I also realize there might be some confusion when reading the dialogue regarding it taking her to them and I can't BS my way out of that oopsie.)

All in all this was a fun story to mash and I'm looking forward to where it goes from here. As far as whether my sojourn back into the world of SM might be more than just a cameo... too early to tell. ;) As you said, we'll see.

I'm glad you stuck with Gail in this one. Descriptions, delicious. Flow, a little stilted at points, but not quite sure if that was intentional or not. It did fit in certain places, her sense of urgency mingling with her uncertainty regarding her "helper." In other places, it felt a little like you struggled to get the thought out the way you wanted.

There was one section where you almost/kind of switched to an omniscient third person POV instead of an individual third person POV. While the sentence was exquisitely written, it also didn't quite fit. ("A glimpse of the dental metamorphosis inside the stranger's mouth would likely have sent her screaming, sans all of her luggage to find the nearest policeman; or better yet, a priest, for the strangers teeth were now quite large and demonically pointed.")

All that said, brilliant as usual, WWB. (I might be a smidgen biased, having read so much of your other work.) Creative. Definitely adds to the mystery and intrigue. Leaves me wanting more. Well done!

Not too shabby of a beginning here. A few repetitive descriptions cut the flow towards the beginning. Character interactions, nicely done. Interesting premise. One can tell there wasn't much time or afterthought devoted to it, though you'd mentioned in a comment elsewhere on the site you prefer pounding it out and submitting it with the minimalist amount of waiting and rewriting. As a fan of waiting and rewriting, I would love to see what this chapter could become with some real devotion to it. Otherwise, vastly intriguing.

All in all, well written. A great setup for future mashes.

Thank you for your wonderful comment.

No, I don't think they are vampires, though that is entirely up to the next contributor(s). Personally, I'd like to see them as something completely different, but again, it's up to those brave and talented souls who choose take a stab at continuing the story.

I'll try to take some time later on this evening to peruse your work. Thanks again.

Another oldie but goldie back and at it with the fourth installment to the Pledge story. Enjoy!

http://storymash.com/u/JD_Renaissance/gihowivo/

I'm glad to see you've added another chapter. You did well in keeping the mystery and pacing and your dialogue has improved since the previous chapter. :) Well done.

Very well written, Synapto. Glad to see you're back.

Not too shabby, Stormbird. There were a few lines in there that broke the overall rhythm of the piece, but the message came through clear. Well done.

Taking the plunge once again. Anyone else out there signing up this year?

Welcome back to the site, Doc.

I hope things are more pleasant and calm for you now.

(P.S. I am not, nor have I ever been, a dude. ;) However, your words are much appreciated.)