I had a really difficult time keeping interest in this one, regardless of the excellent language. Something just did click with me the way I thought the title would...my favorite part was simply the last line, "thoughts of the knife"...
If you don't mind the suggestion- I think a more grabbing opening sentence would have improved it. I read it five minutes ago and all I remember the first line was something about him not calling. I wanted a bigger bang! More of a pull! I'm a generation Y or maybe even Z girl- we can't concentrate on something that doesn't hold our interest without a handful of adderall and ritalin.

I will...until my skinny unpolished fingers cramp up in protest...and of course, I'm ecstatic to read more of your work- it seems fitting that short stories seem to be your genre over rhyming words;)

I am really excited about your feed back, RYN. Unfortunately I can't change what I have published, but I definitely have a glimpse of an idea where the character is going...
Blah-I'm supposed to be doing hw as well...we'll see what happens!

I thought I'd take a look at your work since you so kindly read over mine. I have to be honest, I can't stand the awkward rhyme scheme you seem to have going, but the plot is so well developed I could almost over look the uncomfortable "phone" and "atone" etc, etc, etc. I wonder how it is you have such a knack for character and storyline, but got caught up in feminine rhymes? I'd like to play off of your poem in some way if you don't mind. I'm not sure just what yet but I really enjoyed the characters...hmmm! :)

Wow, thanks!! That is really great feedback and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I actually just joined this site last night (or early this morning rather...) and was just free writing. I should have kept it as a draft so I could have played around with it more later but oh well. Thanks again, I can't tell you how exciting it was to read your comment!