Hey Rask, regarding collaboration maybe we could come up with some idea or premise and then just sort of set into it, maybe alternating chapters or something. Tell me what you think.

Finally a response to all my offerings and even my attempts at making people think that rating my piece was a site requirement, and a swollen, gushing rant at that! Here is why I went so overkill: I had thought that posting a piece would be sure to receive feedback and it was a little bizarre when that proved not anywhere near the case. I won’t “do anything to please you.” I’ll just reiterate that rants are, by nature, chewy and taste good with beer and leave you with jaw fatigue as after a gluttonous bout with fried chicken gizzards. Just imagine I’m a chain-smoker, and you’re a red-faced Denis Leary.
I want to be told what people think. You commended my kissing up to dogdeity—who did earn it—and I appreciate that reference, although do you think I went a bit far in undertaking his pseudonym literally and offering up obedient worship? I really don’t want praise, just feedback.
Firstly, this piece was intended as no more than a little anecdotal short story.
I would like to break some things down and get your feedback on them, piecemeal or generic: get riled and type me some mores!
I’m glad you told me that “It wasn’t funny.” But I wish to put some of the humor threads to you, because they keep tickling my funnybone to erosion.
First of all, amidst a crowded room, the guy’s conversing with his suspenders! or, galluses, a word which establishes his agedness. Dialoging with suspenders, not funny? Offering the elastic bands which hold up his pants a bribe to be displayed behind glass, not funny? He can’t fish out his relatives’ names, true to life? He is mesmerized by, count it, a, as in one, crouton, not implicative of his fascination with food?
“a man not to be engaged with any project low to the ground or any foray well outside comfortable reach”: now that’s funny! Because he was in construction and he couldn’t stoop! I’ve seen people like this! But doesn’t the phrasing make it . . . ? I don’t know, moving on.
He is being introduced/beckoned via a list of professions he never actually held, not fun**?
Now, here is the crowning line: “Having delivered his “amen” on a headstart, his belt buckle struck the jello dish.” His . . . belt buckle . . . struck . . . uh-hem . . . the jello dish!!! Doesn’t this piece do toning wonders to the fit-shaken reader’s abs?
Actually this other line competes for best in show: “His way was not to sidle, but watch as a way manifested as he broadsided obstacles with a nudge of the old feed vault.” His stomach serves him as something between entourage and luggage.
“Boy, he, this character put me to work aboard a dad-gummed steamboat, and I’ll tell you what, I can feel that furnace, boy.” Did you get the colloquial nuance there? I always find colloquial speech so sneakily eloquent. “He put me to work aboard a steamboat” translates as “I was beckoned by this person to come up front where I must offer an entertaining prayer while undergoing a hot flash.”
“Had Doctor Smith been behind its glass studying lab results, he couldn’t have been on display to headier laughter.” Laugh at that! All imperative thrusts here are committed to getting you to laugh at that! Laugh at that with gumption, gusto, gluttony or the vigorous g-primer of your choice. But if you but titter, you won’t get a complimentary bucket of gizzards and a six-pack (this latter I will offer toward you, holding tight to one of the units, and when you go to pull the lot back, it will come out of its ring and I’ll go, “Well, in that case I guess I ought to just have this one.”)
Last thing: Big Bad Nash? On a wandering course? By? By, I beg? What do you mean by that, is soliciting not allowed? I thought the site protocol recommended it.
Post last thing: we should collaborate on something.
Post post last thing: I fulfilled on my word above, for there’s nothing here.

Please list whether you find comedy as compelling as, say, drama or mystery, fantasy, etc., and list your reasons. If you say "aye," and if you provide a second "aye" in preference of wordplay, then you are directed to search up and lap up the tale "K.P. Papa Gaspar Installs the Clan Blessing." If comedy and wordplay are dull to your sensibilities, please avoid this tale at risk of going giddy despite yourself.

What a way to leave off!: "And he started to laugh, a loud, manic laugh which echoed throughout the trees and hadn’t seemed to come from the frail being on the floor." Cool. Check out my stuff and give me some reciprocal feeback!

Vibrant character names! Check out my stuff too! Tell me what you think!

I like your use of italics for subtle enphasis here and there. Please check out my stuff and give me some feedback!

I really like this: "But I’m just left breathing empty air." Check out my stuff too and tell me what you think!

Hey I like this again. I would like to find someone to collaborate with on something. I am a patron of Irish literature. Seamus Heaney is my favorite writer these days. I don't know how to contact personally so I'm posting here. Let me know what you think.

How can we send notes back and forth to individuals, other than posting onto their pieces?

Heavy topic matter. Check out my stuff too.