I had begin to read phychology books, new age. The most impacting book These old energy lines" had taken my reality turn the slightest implication, it begin to shear every so quickly, a giant unvailing of the ugly, evil, slaughter, butchers. I had read the history of america, i had weeped at the savageness of my race, blood of the indians and the buffalo. the tyrant goverments of facism, the lifeless gas chambers, poisoness clouds, body ovens. the industrail revoultion which had started, til the end of the earth will not end, i cry for the trash we created, the world we destroyed. I had never asked for any of this. the mindless, and souless filling the heartless streets. tainted eyes of the junkies, courpses smoking cigrettes. I had gotten deppressed and sucidal. taken magic mushrooms, as the nuclear bomb, uprising in its cloud, clearing all the plain. The say the nuclear bomb was created, we had the power to clear the earth. I had met a man, he told me the ancient truth, one in which the corporations, unseen dicatators, high preists. we all our reciever and senders, energy is in every thought projecting on to the univese. you can read the ones who have killed, suffered, lost, mad. one you accept the reality in which we actually live, you see thing as you are.I had begin to read budism, the wastland, books of mad mind, trying to balance the scale.