Geoffry was a lonely porcupine. All the porcupines around him were getting married, creating offspring, but Geoffrey was doomed to be alone. Geoffrey sat in his underground lair, watching the human DVD, the 40-year old virgin. He was so depressed. All the other porcupines looked normal, but Geoffry had a special defect that made him different. The quills on his body were inconsistent.
Oh, yes, most porcupines are born with a healthy set of quills. The female porcupines loved it. But Geoffrey had mismatched quills. Some were longer than others. There were parts of his body that had no quills. To most females, it seems a deformity.
One day, Geoffrey recieved a visit from a man named Mr. Groin. Mr. Groin owned a pen and ink company. He spoke to Geoffrey. "Geoffrey, I need quills for a special ink project I'm doing. Would you like to donate your quills? You'll become quite wealthy."
"But then I'd be naked!"stammered Geoffrey.
"Yes,but you'd be wealthy. What female porcupine wouldn't want you then?"said Mr. Groin.
"You think?" ventured Geoffrey.
"I know." Groin said confidently."Now sign on the dotted line, with a Groin quill."
Geoffrey reluctantly signed on the dotted line, wondering if he sold his soul.
Groin plucked out Geoffrey's quills with an extracting device. It was totally painful. But he no longer had any quills.
"I"m naked.' complained Geoffrey.
"Well, wait till the female porcupines see you. And wait till they see how much money you have. you will no longer be single."
"Gee, thanks, Mr. Groin!"
(TO be continued)