The story so far:
"Freeze! It's the police!"
" Don't tell him I'm here! Jehosophat said.
" Hide in the cellar!" said the mother.
Jehosophat got his burly body into the apple juice cellar. they never touched their lips to wine, like the damned did.
" I have a warrant for arrest, open up!"
They opened up. " Howdy, Officer!"
" Don't Howdy me. Your son is reeking havoc all over rural Pennslyvania. Have you taught him no values?"
" OH, but we've tried. He's the prodigal son, and he hasn't returned. We believe he is out there, sowing his wild oats now."
"Speaking of wild oats, got any oatmeal? i heard you Amish are good at making oatmeal."
" Yes, officer, we make oatmeal on our farm! would you like a bowl?'
" i would, but I don't have time. i don't want to trouble you more than I have to. Your son is wanted for dealing drugs. I know most Amish people have high moral character, and I'm sure you didn't raise your son to be this way, but the facts are simple. We got a warrant for an arrest in six counties."
" If only we could pray for divine intervention, that he'd stop his ways!"
" So you haven't seen him recently?'
" He don't come around here to trouble us no more. Reckon he's made his deals with the devil and he plum forgot about us."
" You seem like decent folks. i'm sorry to bother you like this. But the law is the law."
" We understand, officer. But the law of God is more important."
" Well that may be so, but I'm just doing my job, ma'am. policeman still have to do their job. You people are not exempt from the laws of the U.S government."
" We understand."
"Okay. well. i'll be moseying along then goodbye."
They shut the door.
" JEhoshophat, get your rear end out here!"
They heard the sound of glass shattering. Jehoshophat had knocked over all the apple juice bottles they were going to sell.
" You have brought disgrace to this family! It's time for the spanking machine!"
" BUt dad..."
"I heard that!" said the cop, opening up the door. Jehosophat, you are under arrest for dealing meth, and your parents are under arrest for lying to a police officer, and hiding a criminal!"
" THis is a sign of the end-times, the coming persecution," Jesophat's dad said.
(To be continued?)