Blackness... a lightless void of all things.  There is no perception.  I cannot tell if it is finite, or if it stretches out boundlessly.  Maybe there is a perimeter, only I cannot perceive it because it is expanding.  I begin to doubt myself and my existence.  I question the concept of reality and tangibility and begin theorizing; my mind branching off into countless tangents, and I relate it to the fractal images derived from mathematical computations that I love so.  Is there a pattern?  Is this a beginning?  An end?  Is it... anything?  Am... I? 

     At once, the void is broken by a distantly familiar stimulus.  There are vibrations that penetrate the blackness.  I can feel them, but I cannot see them.  What is this?  A rythmic pulsing of molecules digs deep into my cerebellum and identifies itself as sound.  No wonder I couldnt see this phenomenon. 

     The distraction serves as an affirmation; apparantly, I am.  The irony of discovery proves itself, as an answer breeds more questions.  What am I?  And why?  How did I come to be, and furthermore, how did I come to recognize myself enough to make such a query?  Such furious thinking soon breeds exhaustion and the void returns once again. 

     With a ferocious quickness the void is lifted enough to once again allow perception to pierce the blackness.  A sensation that I will come to understand as the passing of time drifts lazily across my mindscape.  The distraction is jarring, yet strangely comforting; the void brings foggy feelings of disparaging emptiness.  An infinitely large multiscape of everything yet nothing.  Existence in the void is eternal and cold.  How long have I spent in this emptiness? 

     Cryptic introspection gives way to perception once again as the vibrations that I now register as sound return.  They are becoming more familiar as I begin to distinguish one vibration from the next.  Eventually, patterns reveal themselves to me, and I begin to build a database of reference for this perception some call "sound."  I feel the continuous rise and fall of mid-frequency vibrations all over my body.  It almost feels like it originates from one direction, yet I can feel it almost equally in all directions. 

     One vibration slowly rises in frequency, and at the same time there are many more impulses.. they seem to go up and down at random, yet the elegance of it all stipulates that it cannot be accidental.  Many sounds come together to form a beautiful harmonization.  The experience varies in intensity and form, as different notes bark their crescendo's, until they once again fade to oblivion.  

     The experience brings up distant feelings.  Emotions... something it seems I have understood before, yet I can feel that understanding dissolve with the passing of time.  It gives way to the unbridled search for such things.  I struggle to grasp such a concept of reversal, when I clearly feel like things should be moving in the opposite direction.  As soon as I think such an assertation, I can feel the comprehension of what I just thought dissolve into nothingness... what is this? 

     As the thought dissappears, so does perception once again, and the void returns.  It comes with certainty every time like the death of a man drowning with no escape.  The icy clutches of both are eerily similar... but how do I know this?  I dont... the idea dissappears with everything else.

     Blackness... it seems to go on forever.  Will it never end?  And with that thought, it does. 

     Or does it?  The void is different; its not so... black.  There seems to be substance where once there was nothing.  Finally, the infinite prison of darkness gives way to... hmm how do I define this change in environment?  Light.  I realize I am experiencing the perception of sight, and as soon as that realization hits, the encumberance of imagery that follows is swiftly cut short by that familiar onset of amnesia.  I theorize that everything I discover in my prison is something that I have discovered and understood before.  And must learn again.  What manner of punishment is this?

     The following erasure brings me back to my current situation, which is this new form of perception that has changed my world completely.  Light.. it is so very dim, but after an eternity of blackness, the tiniest trace of it is very noticeable.  Where is it coming from?  Like sound, it seems to surround me in a sourceless manner, yet I somehow know there is a source.

     These new developments leave me oh so tired...  and the blackness returns.

     A jarring motion awakens me.  It suprises me enough that I fail to realize the importance of the concept of "awakening."  I find myself extremely unhappy at being disturbed, and show my displeasure by extending an appendage and am pleasantly surprised when I make contact.  A new perception... how phenomenally wonderful!  I voice my pleasure by attempting to recreate the sensation of striking a surface a number of times until I once again pass out.

     The blackness no longer feels so black.  This prison feels more and more temporary with each passing moment.  I can tell I am getting closer to a goal that I did not set but must reach.

     In the time that follows, I am more active than ever.  I spend my time discovering everything I can about myself and my environment.  The more I discover, the less inherent knowledge I retain.  It seems unfair, but I can tell it is gearing me up for a time of growth.  I am now rather aware of my body and many of its functions. 

     The infinity of the void has been replaced by encapsulation, and I beign to feel claustrophobic.  The closeness is strangely comforting, however, and I allow my mind to wander. 

     Stress... anxiety... something feels wrong.  Seriously wrong.  My world is a cacophony of emotions and perceptions.  The stimuli are overwhelming.  The prison that once was a void of blackness that stretched to infinity now feels like my impending doom.  I now realize how restricted my body is, and panic creeps up my spine.  I must break free!  There is constant movement, and my world gets smaller and smaller.

     ****!  GET ME THE **** OUT OF HERE!!

     Then comes the most disturbing change of all: the only environment that I know is suddenly and inexplicably gone.  And I am compelled to allow myself to be directed elsewhere.  I can tell I am about to escape, but it will not be easy.  And as the walls around me close in and pulse violently, I begin to panic.  My head is being crushed!  I gotta get back to my prison!  Too late..

     I feel something foreign on my skull and then I am violently ripped out of my warm, reassuring encapsulation into a cold world full of light and activity.  I do not know what to make of anything as something is shoved into my nose and mouth.  The biggest surprise is the sudden sensation on my body yet behind me.  It startles me so much that I cough and inhale as deeply as I can.

     WHAT A SHOCK!!  What manner of ingestible is this!?  I am not used to breathing in something so cold, dry and insubstantial.  I am so overwhelmed that all I can do is express my displeasure in the most natural way.  I cry.  I cry as hard and as loud as I can, as creatures I have never seen before poke and prod me, turn me this way and that, place me down and pick me up.  All I can think of to do is cry.  Somewhere, deep in my cerebral cortex, a fading instinct tells me that if I just keep crying I will eventually find what I need.

     Finally I am wrapped up and handed off once more.  This one is different.. that reassuring feeling...  I am in this persons arms and I can tell this is the person who makes things right.  I dont know why, but this just feels right.  There is no more crying... exhausted, I begin to pass out as I hear something that I wont be able to understand for many years:

     "You have a beautiful baby boy"